"You're there, she's there, what's the problem?"
by Veronica Makow
(New York, NY)
Caregiver Sibling Anger and Resentment
I am single and work full-time. Mom lived with me for 10 years and the last 2 years is when she went into her decline and then passed away.
Mom's SS did not cover all the care she needed and I asked my siblings to assist. My siblings both live out of state and would visit once a year. My sister always wanted to see Mom, but my brother would only come if I asked him to because I needed to travel for business. He never visited because he wanted to see Mom.
My sister did help with expenses even though she was struggling with financial difficulties. My wealthy brother asked to see a list of expenses and then only gave me a check for the difference down to the last penny! If the expense was $449.98, it would have been nice to get a check for $450.00!
I told them I felt I should be compensated as well and asked for an additional $ 200 a month - my sister could not contribute any more.
My brother's reaction?
"You've lived together all these years anyway. Why should you be paid? You're there, she's there, what's the problem?"
Angry? Resentful? You bet I am!