Youngest Daughter, closest geographically

by Steph
(Des Moines, IA USA)

My 86 year old mother recently moved to be nearer to me due to Alzheimer/dementia. I am 41 years old and have two older sisters (both retired, living 350 and 800 miles from me...I was closest to "home" where Mom used to live).


I am a married, stay-at-home mom to our seven wonderful children ages 15 to 1 year old. Needless to say, I'm a bit over-stretched at the moment. Mom is in an assisted living facility, but my sisters do not realize the amount of time I am still spending for/with her dealing with taking her to medical appointments, paying her bills for her, shopping for/with her, etc... They promised to visit once monthly to help, but in the six months since Mom has been here they've each only visited twice on weekends for 24/48 hours when offices are closed, etc...so their visits are not of a "helping" nature but more of a "social" nature.

I find myself feeling very angry inside that this is happening to me and that I am left to deal without their support. Neither of them understand the amount of time it requires to care for Mom. They think that since she's in an assisted living, nothing should be required of me and it can all be handled there.

They are not sensitive to my own family's needs and do not offer to support me by giving my husband and I time away or watching our children when they do visit. I hate this and I don't want it to go out over my own children when I am upset or angry at my siblings and the situation.

Any advice?
Thanks!

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Chosen One
by: Anonymous

My sister and brother lived within 1 mile of my parent's home. From 2008-2015 I became the intermittent and then full time caregiver after my Father died.

Both of my siblings believed I used this as a crutch, do not believe it and feel I used it as an excuse to nor find work,

I am devastated.

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