Youngest Daughter (53) of 3. One Older Sister & One Older Brother.
(Modesto, Ca, U.S.A)
My sister is conservator of our mom. Her & I live in the same county. She cares for our mom 80% (in her small home). My domestic partner of 20 years & I only care for my mom the other 20%. We have the largest home.....3bedroom - 2 bath. Two of our three son's two have grown & moved on. The one son that lives with us is 23years old & is Mentally Retarded.
Him & mom get along fine. The problem is our brother. He lives about a one hour drive away,& he never want's to see mom, visit her, etc. Our father died at the young age of 54, 20+ yrs ago from Cancer. We all cared for dad, but my brother was 100% devoted to his care. His marriage of 30years ended at the same time mom got sick. It's been over a year since and still he acts like our mom just takes up space. He say's "If I spend time with her it won't make her better".
I believe my brother has some fear & say's "she won't remember". I told him she might not know when your there, but she knows when your not. She yells and swears at my sister & I, and treat us like dirt. ALL THE TIME. When she speaks to my brother, she is sweet, understanding, doesn't argue. He not easy to talk to, it's his way of push you away. Mom always and only asks for him, and it's not cause he's the missing piece. It's her only pride & joy.
I spent more time with her than my sister or brother. My parents divorced when I was 12. My father told us we were going to live with him. I asked him if I could stay with my mom. He agreed.
The thought of her being alone broke my heart. Bad idea, if I knew then what I know now.I want my brother to feed her love for him.