Yes, I am The Chosen One
by Delores S
For me I was always the good child making sure everyone was comfortable and loving every minute of it. I cooked every holiday, yes even Groundhogs Day.
I was there waiting to be of servers when all the grand children, and great grand children were born. I'm the photographer, party planner and house sitter if need by. In fact my younger sisters and daughter look to me to solve the family problems and the yearly vacations.
Little did I know that I was creating a virtual tunnel for myself. I like to be helpful, love to create pretty little craft items, and yes I will baby sit for you on Easter Day and still cook. Really, the trap just closed with me snugly inside.
So when Mom got sick and could no longer live alone, I should not have been surprised that no one else showed up. No not even when the dear was in the hospital for a month.
Now she is on dialysis and is blind so she needs more assistant than ever. Don't get me wrong I knew someday Mom would move in with me, the sisters are not a good candidate for this job.
I do feel a bite of anger and may so resentment towards the sister, they could at least call her here and there. Wish her Happy Mothers Day something. I what them to act as if they care. They could lend my mental support the same way I have done for them over the years.
Instead they don't even call me anymore, to afraid I going to ask them for something. Even thought it was already decided that I would help mom. My determination was so great that when my husband and I was looking to buy our forever home, I made sure it had a room on the main floor with a separate bathroom.
Not a master bedroom but a room that would work. We were so sure of ourselves that there is a room for his mom too! I know what you are thinking whats the problem.
Well, we are in between the ages of 46 and 51, still kind of young for a
full time job as mom-baby sitter. We thought we had maybe ten more years before either of the moms came to live with us. What have I done?
So my sisters, you remember I spoke of them earlier, they are now invisible. That's right they can not be called upon to bring me a sandwich if I asked. But the jokes on them, caring for a love one is the biggest and greatest thing one can do.
Yes, its hard and I don't know when I will get a good nights sleep, maybe I'll nap after this. The thought of my mom being sick and alone is more frighten to me than anything I can image.
It's true I have been taking care of the family for over 30 years. Some days are harder than others, with sleepless nights and mini battles about sticking to her diet. No chocolate. Planning seems to be the key, that and a gentle push in the right.
Find a good caregiver service some take government benefits so just want cash, how doesn't these days. I wish mom was a veteran those brave folks can get every health care service available.
So, yes I am the chosen one, that just means after my nap I have someone to help me with my crafts, you know until she falls asleep in her chair. But than that's a perfect time for a photo shoot.
Sure some days I would like to get into the car and pretend I'm going somewhere, without her. Other days she is my best friend.
One needs to just remember being sick is hard and losing your independence is going to be difficult for everyone. Plan a day for your parent to have even one day of respite care (I just learned that word) than take yourself to a spa or maybe a bar, your choose. Do this once a week to keep the stress at bay and keep in touch with friends their the best.
Even a day at the local community center would act as a stress reliever for everyone. See, here I go taking care of others,
I knew I was chosen.
Thanks Delores S.