Yep I Hate This!

Having my mom living here continues to be a nightmare. She doesn't respect our space and she makes things very unpleasant. She watches everything we do and she makes us uncomfortable.

We have a family room and a separate living room. When my husband is home he spends all of his time away from her and sits in the living room because he says he refuses to have her constantly watching him.

She has a habit of putting her (full) coffee cup and/or glass of milk on the seat of her walker and then pushing it across the hardwood floors. So far it hasn't spilled, but I'm waiting for that to happen.

I told her more than once I don't want her to do that but she says "it's fine". I've been doing it all along". Tonight I told her again that I don't want her doing that. If she does, I'm going to take her drink away from her. I am at my wits end.

My siblings don't help out and don't have a clue what this is like. I am desperate to find a solution to this situation.

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I understand
by: Anonymous

Sometimes you have to overlook little things and then other times you have to be "the parent" and take action because you see the ramifications down the road when they don't. I don't know if your mother has dementia or not.

If she does, she truly doesn't look down the road and realize that cup of whatever is eventually going to spill. You could ease the moment by just saying, humor me Mom, I'm a worry wart, let's just not take the chance of anything spilling, okay?

Can't say that will work or not. With my mom,who has severe dementia, it sometimes does and then at other times it would make her mad and life would be hell for a week. My mom also lives with me and watches everything I do.

She has no recollection of time whatsoever and if I wash my hair every third day (which I now do instead of daily because it's become such a frickin big deal) I hear for hours, "why do you wash your hair so often? I've never seen anyone wash their hair as much as you do."

Something so utterly simple turns me into a nervous wreck. It's hard having anyone live with you and it never gets easier. There are days with her farting and burping all of the time and telling me, "I have the urge to go!" and she's rolling down the hall with her walker and I'm praying she makes it in time.

I don't need to know that, I don't want to know that, but I am told that all the time. I read though on here about having to wipe butts and clean feces off the walls and then I think at least I don't have to do that. Yet.

I hope she goes before that day comes because I will hate the situation even more than I do now. I'm alone in my little cage here with her, but I feel sorrier for you having a spouse who took this on, too.

You have to juggle constantly I imagine to keep both people happy and the home life running smoothly. That's a lot on anyone's shoulders. Many marriages have not survived having a parent move in because of how everything and I mean everything changes.

I can't imagine how you handle it. There is no getting better with this so there isn't much hopeful advice to give because each situation is so different. I do wish you the best and everyone else who finds themselves living in this nightmare existence.

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