Wife’s Mother not my Problem

by Anonymous

My wife had been a slave to her mother since she was a little girl. When we got married our dreams were to move out of New York, settle in the south and live a peaceful life. That’s until her overbearing mother took charge of my wife.


My in laws are lazy entitled people. They inherited every thing they own 12 acres of land and rental properties. They never had to do anything. They are the most selfish entitled narcissist I ever met. The ran their inherited property into the ground and sucked every last nickel out of them.

My father in law passed away last year but for the last 11y years my wife had been their slave. She can’t say no to her mother. When not at work she ignores her own kids to run to her mother. Her cowardly mother doesn’t want to pay for aids because she is cheap so my wife does everything but doesn’t receive any profits from the business she now runs. Her 86 year old mother treats her like dirt.

Meanwhile her sister who lives in a million dollar house in Illinois doesn’t help my wife at all. She calls and screams at my wife to do more. My sister in law also never worked a real job in her life.

They have told me I need to help run the property but I’ve said not my family, property and responsible. They have always treated me like dirt. I’m the outsider they wish my wife didn’t marry and would divorce .

I have two undergraduate degrees and a masters and worked since I was 15. That’s not enough because I did not come from money. I worked for every dime I own.

I’ve waited years for my wife and I to live our lives in freedom but until my wife’s mother dies my wife is her slave. I’ve stopped waiting after a bad heart attack two years ago when in was 49. These days I travel alone.

My wife refuses to leave her mother’s side. She stayed home this past February when I took the kids to Florida. In two months I go to London by myself. Next year Paris. I now enjoy my time and hobbies without my wife around. It’s like I’m single again.

One should never give up their lives to take care of another like this. My mother in law didn’t. She sent her mother back to Ireland to a government run nursing home because she didn’t want to take care of her or loose her inheritance.

Now she demands my wife to do what she wouldn’t do for her mother. Every day I pray this selfish old hag would die and give my wife the life she deserves. Until she does my wife is her slave. For me I tell them don’t involve me. It’s not my business.

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Take care of you.
by: Anonymous

Yes, I've been the outsider in a family that bullies & trash talks when they don't get their way. It would be great if your wife made boundaries to protect your relationship, its never good to be a doormat. I've been that. I'm sorry for your pain. Live what feels right, or it can kill you.

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I understand
by: Anonymous

I understand completely. My mother in law lives with us and I am miserable. My wife's siblings do nothing for her. My wife works in another city and drives 3hrs a day to and from work.

I work full-time and in school to finish my RN license. Siblings are well if and don't even come to see their mother. It stinks but I told my wife last evening it's time for a nursing home. Our life has been on hold long enough.

She can either go to a nursing home or we need a divorce. Can't deal with the craziness anymore!

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I request
by: Wafa

hi your mother your AKHRAT but your wife your world so pls change wife u afford lot wife but mother not afford ok think Pls.

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You're Involved Too
by: Anonymous

Don't fool yourself into thinking that your wife's problems with her mother are "none of your business." As long as you are married to her, and are outraged by the way she is treated and sides with her mom, then you're as involved in the drama as anyone can be.

The way you wrote your piece, it sounds as though a divorce is imminent. I would recommend that you seek some type of family or spousal therapy before it's too late.
- Advice from a stranger.

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That's a tough situtation
by: Anonymous

My heart goes out to you.
No way should a parent come before a spouse.

Is there any way your wife would be willing to go to a counselor with you? Maybe a professional can help your wife say no to her mother and make her realize she is putting your marriage in jeopardy.

I am a daughter who has a hard time saying no to my mom (who lives with us now), but I am exercising my no muscles these days with the help of my husband who encourages me every step of the way.

Good luck to you both.

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