Wife left Me Due to Caregiver Duties

by Lawrence
(Scotland)

I am fifty seven years old.My name is Lawrence.For a good number of years my wife and I, whilst working,looked after my elderly parents.


My mother died in 2007. We then discovered that my dad had Lewy Body dementia.My wife and I took turns at going up every night to see my dad and make him a meal....although for one reason or another it was mostly me.

As you can imagine this became absolutely exhausting. We then decided to take my dad in with us. Money was no problem so we gave up work. Our lives became spectacularly dull. Making breakfast,lunch etc. Doing the same thing day in day out. It started driving us both mad.

A couple of weeks ago my wife said she had had enough,packed up and left.She insists that she didn't leave me but my father.She says that she wants us to stay 'together' by meeting up regularly and when my dad goes into care we will get back together. I feel lonelier than I can articulate. My wife had issues with mental health all of our married life (35yrs) and no matter what happened I stuck by her.

The only time I've ever asked her to help me and she walks out the door. I also have two brothers who never come anywhere near. I've never had a very good opinion of people but all of this has left me feeling that life is worthless....any ideas?

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Thank you for sharing
by: Anonymous

I am so sorry you are going through this and it is also one of the things I fear. I live in another state and when my mom got sick for the umpteenth time I flew home to take care of her.

I am newly married myself only 5 months and I've already been gone three weeks and my mother does not want me to go home. She lays the guilt trip on me all the time that I should be taking care of her and not be so worried about my husband.

I finally booked the flight home for next week and she wants me back right away. my marriage is the most important thing to me and I can't do this to my husband. So I sit here in guilt.

I will choose my husband over my mom but I'll feel horrible about it for the rest of my life

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