Wife is Fed up with Husband and so is his 2 Grown Children.

by Frustrated Wife
(Texas)

My husband has been seeing after is bedridden mother in the nursing home by himself... she has two capable daughters that do nothing and could care less also now, that she is in the nursing home my husband has to become guardian for his step-mentally challenged alcoholic brother that is drinking himself to death....doctors have told him to stop drinking.


Right now my husband works 12 hours daily and sometime leaves work and goes to the nursing home and spend several hours there and gets home about 8-9 at night sometimes later. Every weekend he has to check on his brother that we moved near us in an apartment get his groceries, pay his bills, get him to doctor appointments, and everything else.

His mother has brothers and one sister that does not help either. Sad thing this mother wanted to give my husband away to relatives when he was born. My husband gets upset with our 2 children because they don't go to the nursing home to visit their Grandmother but she never bonded with them when they were young so they don't really know her much at all. For me and husband their is just no time for us because he is always burnt out and this has been going on for 4 years now. Any advice out there.

Oh, this year I am home nursing a knee replacement because I was trying to help him by going to visit with his mother and I got rear ended and jammed my knee under my dash and had to have a total knee replacement so I an kind of pissed and so is my grown kids.

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Wow
by: Frustrated Wife (Louisiana)

I've been reading a few comments, and this one hit closest to home. It's not really so much right now the care of his 82-year mom with Alzheimer's that weighs so heavily on my husband (who also works 12-hour shifts and spends a lot of time at his mom's house taking care of things), but the fact that the care of his 52-year old deaf brother that lives with her and depends on her has no end in sight.

She has allowed him to mooch all of his life, and because we are the ones that are primarily seeing to them (even though there are four other siblings, two of which live much closer than we do), he now calls us for what he needs now that his mom is no longer capable of doing everything and paying for everything. (We control her finances, and most of the cash we give her weekly goes toward feeding him.)

So much frustration I see on this website, and believe it or not, it makes me feel better. Makes me feel we're not alone.

I'm a Christian, and I believe that all trials are meant for our good, to shape us into what Christ wants us to be. Even with that assurance, it's difficult, but I'm thankful that there is something higher and better than this craziness, and it helps me persevere under this trial.

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He's too Good for Them
by: Anonymous

Sounds like your husband is still trying to prove to his mother that he's worthy of her love. The fact of the matter is that he's more than worthy of her and doesn't have to prove anything to her any longer.

It's time for her other children to do their fair share for their mother and their alcoholic brother. Your husband needs to know that his own family needs him and has always loved and cared about him. And that he doesn't have to prove anything to you.

You may have a hard time convincing him that his job as super son is not as important as his job as regular husband and dad.

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