Am so glad that I stumbled onto this site....where shall I begin?? There are three siblings; an adult male unmarried 60 years old who lives in town; the other male is married and lives 4 hours away.....I have a full time job, three kids and a husband and mom stays with us!
My brothers will NEVER understand what I go through and they just "expect" me to take care of our mother. I do not receive any phone calls, no money, no visits....I send them emails about her daily progress and their attitude drives me insane...its' not fair to my husband and to our kids...they have all grown to resent her...mom has dementia.....she is driving me crazy...I do not get one minute to myself...maybe the toilet and that's about it....I have EXTREME ANXIETY and on high blood pressure pills...."take time for yourself" everyone tells me...."oh sure...:"
My life has changed, and I have made a change to accommodate her...my brothers have not changed their lifestyles....at all....I have been pleading with them for years, even when mom was better to make a plan for her long term care but they didn't care and I still ask them....as far as I can see, she will need to go to nursing home within a year or two because I cannot help her....WHO WILL PAY? SHE HAS NO RETIREMENT, MERELY 500.00 PER MONTH, certainly not enough money....the problem is that she has a house that my older brother lives in (he pays taxes and repairs).....so, she will need to sell it ....
I know that I am not alone and there are plenty of other people, especially married women with families and full time job who are expected to take care of mom.....IT'S NOT FAIR...MY BROTHERS GO AWAY FOR WEEKENDS AND HAVE FUN....I AM HOME TAKING CARE OF MY KIDS AND MOM...MY HUSBAND WORKS WEEKENDS....!!!!
WHAT CAN I DO? WHO CAN I TURN TO?? CAN'T WE HAVE TELEVISION SPECIALS ABOUT THIS IN ORDER TO GET THROUGH TO THESE MEN???????
Don't get me wrong, my brothers are great guys, but stupid and ignorant when it comes to this...even when I BEG THEM FOR HELP...My husband is not a happy person because he believes that my brothers are taking us for granted and this is not right....MY HUSBAND IS VERY PATIENT AND UNDERSTANDING AND IS CORRECT.....
WELL, it's mom's bath time....signing off....