Who Are These People???
As I read through these entries, I see a common thread. All the parents seem really selfish in their requests and all the children seem to bend over backwards to give them everything they want.
When did this change?
As I was growing up, my mom always told me how spoiled I was and she was angry about it. I hadn't any defense. I would say, Well, Mom, you gave me everything, I don't know any different.
My mom grew up with nothing. Her family was poor. Her parents died when she was 12, she was raised in a convent, had to leave at 18 and started working. She joined the Navy in WWII, became a nurse, started a family. She was the original Super Mom doing it all until retirement at 65 years of age.
I grew up with everything. We were the Summer of Love generation. Live for today, don't worry about tomorrow. Have fun while you're young. I got a part-time job when I was sent to college, and they helped with expenses.
I never got married and had a whole lot of freedom moving from place to place and experiencing all kinds of living. My parents helped me throughout all of it.
But now it seems my mom could care less about my life. She doesn't even acknowledge the fact that, before I came to live with her, I actually had one. She is adamant about what she wants and by golly, she is going to get it. She doesn't want to leave her home, she doesn't want strangers in the house, she doesn't want any of her lifestyle to change whatsoever. And she seems to have an expectation that I owe her. Do I?
And what happened to us? We supposedly were the selfish children, who were handed everything by their hard-working parents. Is that where our guilt comes from? Because we all seem to think we owe our parents our lives. Is this payback time?
I know this scenario doesn't fit everyone here, but it does seem that many of us feel guilty if we don't do everything they demand of us. My mom has a very manipulative way of saying things that plants that seed that somehow I'm failing her in something because every little need is not being met! I'm one person, and I can't do everything.
There's just not enough hours in the day to live two complete lives fully. And she seems to have a hard time compromising hers at all.
I would love some insight and perspective on this. Maybe there is something here I'm missing, like I'm in too deep and can't see the forest-for-the-trees. Any psychoanalysts out there???