Who am I?
by Cherry Hill
I'm the youngest and I always knew I'd be the one to care for my mum. i have a sister who lives opposite my mum. when my mum had a stroke, me and my sister agreed between us both we would share the care or her. last minute when my mum was due to arrive home my sister suddenly said she couldn't do it. she point blank refused to even do a little bit of care for mum. i have 3 kids who were aged 7 and twins age 8. my sister had teenagers and no ties.....I looked at my vulnerable mum and how she had to deal with so much in her life. my dad having affairs, his other women knocking the door looking for my dad. The years of abuse and violence all while living in a isolated part of the countryside... she was a woman who made us proud and not once did she buckle under pressure.
She made sure we all knew love. maybe when her youth was dwindling .she became critical of me and i did have huge confidence issues from this. just i understand now and i forgive her as she forgave me for rebelling.
so when i looked at this vulnerable woman who was not the same mum i knew.at times she was very mean and sharp tongued. then she was lonely unsure,worried and frail.i couldn't turn my back on her and now 7 years later I'm still catch 2 buses to her house.
yes i get fed up but i realize that what I'm doing for her as thankless as it can be .its very little for the sacrifices she made for me and my siblings over the years.. i can see her confusion and hear her torment when she is looking for her son who died a year ago, i will care for her because i respect her.
yet when i get housebound.i demand my children do not care for me ,put me in assisted accommodation and visit me often but don't give our life up for me as i gave birth to you all to live not to care for me