Where has the Love Gone?
I'm the oldest child caring for my dad who is in his eighties. He has mild dementia and a number of health issues. Caring for him has become difficult. The trips to the ER and hospital admissions.
At first it was a burden of love. Now I am angry, guilty and resentful.
I have neglected my own health, made financial sacrifices, and placed additional stress on my coworkers. I have been unable to enjoy being an empty nester. Yes, this is for a man who raised and supported me but now in his twilight years barely says anything.
He has enjoyed a healthy retirement, seen his children work in great professions, get married and raised families. I know this is one source of my resentment.
I really fear that I will not be able to enjoy that life experience. At times I feel selfish..I watch him now in his ER bed and cannot find the love.
My sibling lives far away but tries to be supportive. I pray and ask God why this is the way.