When will it end?
I need to vent. To voice my feelings and be understood. I am caring for a home bound, wheelchair bound parent. I have been doing this for several years. I am so tired and I hate my life as it is.
I just want my life back and to be able to give my time wholly to my family. I have young children still at home. I always had a good relationship with my mom but I can hardly stand the site of her. I hate feeling this way.
I am a Christian and I have prayed and prayed for the Lord to take this anger, resentment away and to replace it with the love I use to have toward her. I feel it's probably more the situation that I hate, but it seems to have transferred to her.
I feel like I am so dishonoring to her. As a Christian we are commanded to honor our father and mother and here I stand with no honor at all. Full of hate and anger.
I can't talk to anyone about it because it is too awful to admit I feel this way. I feel like a terrible person. Does anyone feel this way? Am I crazy? And please, if someone thinks this is awful please just move on and don't comment because I honestly can't handle hearing that. I just want to know I'm not alone.