Whatever You Say...Whatever You Want...

My mother is a complete control freak and has Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder.

I was living on my own and moved back in with my mother six months ago because she is losing her eyesight. I have a sibling 1300 miles away living the good life. I try to start every day with a positive attitude but it is demolished within the first conversation.
Here is the first conversation of today:

MOM: I'm glad my eye surgery is in the afternoon because that BP med gives me a stomach ache when I don't eat with it.
ME: How come you didn't tell the doctor that yesterday?
MOM: When?
ME: (here it goes, starting to clench) Yesterday, when the doctor asked you if you needed to eat with that drug I turned to you and said, You do eat with that drug, right? and you said to the doctor NO.
MOM: Oh, well it says on the label I don't have to eat with the drug, but I do have to eat with the drug.
ME: (exasperation setting in) Well, I meant YOU taking the drug, not what was on the label. You told me you feel nauseous.
MOM: Oh I don't get nauseous, I just have a little stomach cramp.
ME: (now wondering why I ever started this conversation, my own BP rising) Well, the point is, you DO need to eat with the drug, whatever the reason.
MOM: Oh, I just have a little oatmeal with it in the morning and I'm just fine.

Teeth clenched, taking big breaths, looking around desperately for my dog for some sign of sanity, as if I could say to her, You heard this conversation, right? This is not me making it all up.

This goes on with everything, conversed to the "-nth" degree, until my head is swimming, wondering where the conversation started and what the hell does it matter anyway. She asks me what I want, I tell her, she says well, I'm going to do it this way. She asks me, do I want something, I say no, she says well, I'll just get it for you anyway.

Last night we discussed what to eat for dinner for 20 minutes until I finally just grabbed some leftover cold vegetables out of the fridge and sat on the couch and said "This is what I'm eating". Then she sighs and says, "I don't know why you have such an attitude all the time. Are you happy here?" NNNOOOOOOOO!!!! I scream silently in my head.

So, as the days go by, I get quieter and quieter. I try not to take the bait of a conversation in which I'm not even heard.
Whatever you say....whatever you want...

Click here to post comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Elder Care Anger and Resentment.

Home | Site Map | About | Contact | Privacy Policy | Disclosure

© Copyright evSky Incorporated 2008-2019 | All Rights Reserved

Eldercare for

Aging Parents

Are you having a difficult time with being the "Caregiver" for Mom and Dad?

Click Here to Read What Others are Saying and Leave a Comment About Your Own Experiences....

Or Start your Own Discussion Page!

Recent Articles

  1. Removing myself from this toxic relationship

    Mar 30, 20 10:46 AM

    Good Day, I would like to share my story please, I am the second youngest of 6 siblings. Three of my much older siblings have completely removed themselves

    Read More

  2. Mother In Law moved in at 96 years Old

    Mar 30, 20 10:45 AM

    My Mother In Law had to move in with us. She is 96, Blind, Spanish Speaking, (I am not), and has some dementia and memory problems. I feel guilty for

    Read More

  3. Ricky

    Mar 30, 20 10:44 AM

    I am the oldest of 3 siblings followed by 2 sisters. In 2012, I was facing a financial crisis and decided to move into my mother's home since she was a

    Read More