What to Do

by DS
(Canada)

My mom is now 80. I am 58. My divorce was final in 2001. Not happy for a long time. My ex did nothing but bad mouth me to everyone who would listen and did nothing but alienate me from my daughter who was 15 years old at the time. I guess the worst part of all was that my mother took his side. Every lie he told she believed. None of it was true at all.


Any way later I married and moved to live with my husband in Canada. About 2500 miles from her. She was about 69 at that time. She had a house she had to move out of because she spent all the money my Dad left when he passed away. She moved into a trailer and had to move again because of her spending habits.

She moved near her brothers & sisters into an apartment. She lived there for several years and then was evicted because she could not follow the apartment rules. She moved in with an aunt, about 4 years older than her. Could not get along there either. Now she is a senior apartment and of course hates it. She has no friends and says she doesn't want any. Yet she resents me for not being there.

My daughter by the way is now 25 and has two beautiful children. Unfortunately, my mother has no relationship with them because of my mom's attitude. I go back once a year to visit. Just the other day while on the phone with my mother, she said how stupid it was that I come down once a year and why don't I go just somewhere else!!!

Thanks for letting me vent. I feel nothing I ever do will be good enough!!

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Be Kind to Yourself
by: Christine

Nothing you can ever do will be enough for some people, so be sure to care for yourself. Your mother seems to have created her own situation but you don't need to live within it. Please be good to you.

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