What to Do with My Mother

by Anonymous

My mom (84) has lived with me (60) and my wife (56) for the last 5 years She was living alone so I, being the good son moved her in. My wife was her caregiver for all those 5 years.


Up until last Thursday when I got a call at work that she had left me under the stress of 5 years of being told "your stupid, get me this get me that do this don't do that" among other horrid things.

Me and my wife love each other deeply and our marriage will survive If I can just find a place for Mom.

Hello mother, goodbye me. Goodbye us and our marriage I don't even know this angry, frustrated, and burned out man I see in the mirror.

I just want to have my life back without guilt. I am the the only son left my brother passed away Oct of last year

I don't like this person I've become. How can I be this bitter? My mom has always loved me. She's been a good mom. So how can I resent her so much?

She can still get around with a walker but she won't. She sits in her chair and refuses to do anything for herself.

She wants me to serve her - period. She won't eat at the table, she wont go outside, she just sits in her chair and when I come home from work she expects me to wait on her

My marriage can be saved but I just don't know what to do with mom. Funds are only $915 a month and that's it with blue cross/medicare. She can't get Medicaid because she is in my home and they go by household income.

This is all new to me and I am lost as to what to do. She is in the hospital right now and I am trying to have her placed into a nursing home. Medicare will cover 3 months and I can apply for her Medicaid then because she will be out of the home.

But I am getting this sick feeling that they are going to release her back onto me ruining any chance to get my wife back and put our marriage back together. I am met at every turn with six to eight waiting lists at places she can afford to live on her own. Help I am losing my sanity and my hope

Comments for What to Do with My Mother

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

Rating
starstarstarstarstar
So sad !!
by: Anonymous

I'm so sorry you are having to go it alone with
this! I pray you can find someplace ... I do not know how to help you but I hope & pray you get some help & get your life back!! I honestly do from my heart!!

Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Unresolved Anger with a 90 Year old Parent
by: Mary

my older sister who is 70 years old constantly bickers with my 90 year old mother. its hard to visit my mother and listen to the both of them. When I say something she blows up at me. so now of course I want to spend less and less time there. I'm at the point that I want to ask my sister to not be there when I visit my mother at my mothers home.

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Caregiver Stress.


Home | Site Map | About | Contact | Privacy Policy | Disclosure

© Copyright evSky Incorporated 2008-2019 | All Rights Reserved


Eldercare for

Aging Parents

Are you having a difficult time with being the "Caregiver" for Mom and Dad?

Click Here to Read What Others are Saying and Leave a Comment About Your Own Experiences....

Or Start your Own Discussion Page!

Recent Articles

  1. Step daughter

    Aug 20, 19 04:07 PM

    My step father has aphisia from a stroke his right side is also paralyzed. My mom his wife is 70 years old and in her age cant be that much of help.

    Read More

  2. Doing it All

    Aug 19, 19 12:28 PM

    I have 11 siblings and am taking care of mother with dementia by myself. I will give credit to two sisters who live out of town and come in once a year

    Read More

  3. I am Invisible

    Aug 15, 19 11:56 AM

    I volunteered to move 1200 miles from where I lived to where I grew up. I moved in with my elderly mother. The beginnings of dementia were becoming noticeable

    Read More