What happened to MY LIFE?

by Karen
(Florida)

My mom passed away June of 2015. She and my dad were together 67 years. I am a 60 year old daughter who has been single for the past 35 years - and have been happy and independent.


My sister - 2 years older is married with a house and a mortgage and 2 dogs. So I was the obvious one to move from NY to FL to care for my dad.

Originally, I had gotten my own apartment but he was complaining of depression and being confused and lonely. As it would happen I was asked to move in with him - in his home - which is very nice - but now I have no home of my own - no space of my own.

I had no idea but he was a paper and document hoarder - in my attempts to get his life organized I found thousands of boxes of papers dating back to 1997 - lord knows I'm sure there are more boxes hidden away in this house - thank God no basement.

He's been very short tempered lately he's asked me to gather his documents for his 2015 taxes - which I'm doing and I've tried to manage his bills and payments but he will open credit card accounts and charge things that he doesn't need and then tell me he didn't do any of it.

In my attempts to help him understand what's happening he gets very defensive and tells me to "get out" or "drop dead" - I know he doesn't mean it but still it cuts like a dull knife - if anyone else would speak to me that way I'd tell them where to go and leave - but he's my dad.

I can't just leave him. I'm pissed at my sister who has taken no responsibility and keeps telling me she's sorry. Well okay - but that does not help me - I think I just need to vent BIG TIME - am I in the right place -

I really feel like I'm going to lose my mind - plus the fact that I can't work a normal job because he goes to 20 different doctors every week - he has 2 small old dogs that pee all over and of course I have to clean the mess - I'm ready to just get in my car and disappear HELP
Not so sane in south Florida

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Your Life Is No More Unless...
by: Anonymous

Yikes! It sounds as though you are a real martyr now to your father, who should in all likelihood be in a nursing facility, which is what happens when people outlive their sanity.

Tell your sister to chip in and help you, or else you'll have no choice but to get Daddy out of the way. This isn't as cruel as it sounds.

When people get to this stage, they cannot be helped reasonably by family members, and it is unfair to believe so. Good luck to you.

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