Watching the Decline
My mom had me when she was 20. She is now 85 and I’m 65. My brother is 66 and loves in the same town. My mom has had rheumatoid arthritis for around 13 years and has recently also been diagnosed with osteoarthritis. The past 3-4 years mom has gotten a lot more negative. She feels no one loves her.
I talk to my mom several times a week and see her 2-3 times a week as well. I can go over in a great mood but after being around my mom for a few hours the great mood is no longer there. My mom is alone, divorcing my dad in the 70’s and later divorcing her second husband.
So, she has no one there to fill the void between my visits or calls. My brother is in poor health now that he is older but years back when he was in good health he didn’t visit my mom or dote on her. He always got a pass. I could never do enough. So now basically I am the only one who is in reasonably good health and I have no excuse so it’s all on me.
I try to help mom with things and there are times I will tell her on a certain day I am coming over to do a particular chore for her. She will then try to do it before I can get there. I don’t understand my mom anymore.
I want the mom back who raised me! I feel like my mom isn’t one of those who grows old gracefully. Almost ever time I see her she is down and says maybe before long she won’t be here. I tell her not to say that! I think she says it just to get a rise out of me. I hate this!