Voices From The Wilderness

So many of us from around the world calling out for help. I am just amazed. All the situations similar or different, all with one thing in common, family caregivers going under. There should be a national conference or global summit that we can all attend.

I can’t imagine the hundreds of thousands of people that would show up. Of course none of us could afford it, have the time, nor could we find someone to watch our parent while we were gone! Whoever could imagine that this entire generation would inherit this issue. We were blindsided.

It was a slow, evolving trap that snared one family member and there is no escape unless we chew off our leg. Meanwhile the siblings we grew up with, skated. The most annoying part of it is their total lack of understanding and compassion for our predicament.

They don't know and they don't want to know. And they will never know and isn't that nice for them. I am already practicing how to be gracious at the funeral.

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You nailed it
by: Elly

Voices from the Wilderness---
You nailed my life for the last 5 years, you nailed my sorry sibling's irresponsibility, and you nailed my feelings about it all.

You did that so clearly and eloquently that should you ever have 5 minutes to yourself, consider writing a caregivers article for publication.
I am sorry you are in this mess too.

What is especially sad for all of us lone caregivers is that if our siblings did even part of their share, this would be much more doable.

Available for the funeral
by: Anonymous

Yes those siblings would all find the time to get to the funeral but never can they come so you can visit your grand kids - not even for Christmas .

I think what if after mom passes you have the body cremated and you just never get around to calling those unhelpful siblings to let them know she’s gone - how many years would it take for them to even just call to see what’s up. ( they don’t want to call because you might ask them to help or something) . Lazy selfish siblings.

Voices From The Wilderness
by: Anonymous

I couldn't have said it any better.
I am amazed at how many of us are in this same situation.

How many of have health issues and are deteriorating while our parent(s) are thriving under our care.

My siblings don't call me like they used to. They don't want to hear me complain and they certainly don't want to help share this difficult and thankless job.

I feel like I'm reaching the meltdown point. The other night while everyone was asleep I cried for a long time. I have become an angry and bitter person throughout all of this.

I try very hard to change my attitude, but my mom (who lives with us) doesn't help. Instead of being grateful that we have provided a home for her, she seems to resent us for it while she thinks my siblings are so wonderful.

She says" I love you" to all of my siblings, but I haven't heard those words out of her mouth in over a year To be fair, I haven't said them to her either. I'm sorry I seem to be rambling but your point certainly hit home.

Hang in there.

by: Anonymous

You are so right. And I am practicing how to act sad when (if the day EVER comes) my mother goes.

People don't understand that who are not caregivers. My mother left a long time ago.

This is a stranger in her familiar body that I care for and I am so burned out I feel no emotion anymore at all. Frustration, pure rage, the horrible feeling of being trapped... so many emotions have eaten me up it's almost impossible to feel anything anymore.

The calendar months keep turning over and the seasons keep changing year after year. There is such fear watching time go by and wondering how long will this go on? Is that all my last years are going to be?

There have been slight changes in her for the worse, but then that just makes it worse for me. There is no winning in this game we play - the cruelty of life. The silly body doesn't know to stop when the brain leaves the building.

But we keep plugging along, so many silent voices.

I understood every word you wrote and it was beautifully written.

Thank you

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