Venting, Depressed, Don't know What to Do

by Lynn
(Ontario)

I have spent pretty much my entire adulthood caring for my parents.


My mother has schizophrenia (had it before I was even born), and her "episodes" have caused a lot of financial trouble. So much so that my parents were on the verge of losing their home 10 years ago until I stepped in, payed off the mortgage, and started paying all the bills. They are both long since retired with meager pensions that don't pay the basic expenses in the home.

The paranoia causes my mother to call social workers, police, etc., at the drop of a hat. Something as simple as looking at her in a way she doesn't like or raising a voice to her is enough to cause her to run to a lawyer.

The past few years, she and I have had a difference on what to do with the back yard and our trees. She wants them cut down and I don't. Every few months, she calls over people to chop them down - usually when everyone is out of the house or having to do important work elsewhere.

These trees are important as they are one of the few things left my father lives for (the critters and birds that use them, and the beauty of having trees). He would literally lose the will to live without them.

I feel like I have no rights. I work a nearly minimum wage job so every penny I have been making has been going into the house and house repairs. I even bought a car I didn't want just so they had transportation to doctors appointments.

But it's not enough - my mother believes the house is still hers because her name is still on the phone bill! (The only bill in her name although she has never paid it).

I feel so trapped. I'm 38 with no social life (cant afford it, not even a decent set of clothes to go out anyways), a dead end job and no rights to have a say in anything that happens at home. If I say no to anything, social workers are at the door to force me to give mother her way.

If I walk away from the home, my parents don't have enough to pay the bills and will lose it. My conscience won't let me put them out in the street, or have my father see the one thing he worked all his life for taken away. But, my depression right now is so great that I can't take it anymore.

I wasted my life for nothing it seems. According to my mother, the house is hers, and the government and her social workers will see to it she stays here no matter what.

I don't care if I lose everything I put into the home. I just want out. But, I don't think the government/social workers will even let me do that with all the laws protecting the elderly, as I can't afford rent and paying my parents bills.

I just feel so lost.

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