Ungrateful Sister in Laws

by Salomay
(Montana)

My husband and I are taking care of his elderly parents, he has been doing this for 15 years before we got married. He works 12 hours and I have to take care of his parents when he is at work.


He has two older sisters but the don't help at all, one stays 2 hours from us and the other stays in a different state. Their mother is bed ridden and has Alzheimer's, is getting violent and his father is on colostomy bag, I do the changing of his bags, he is mentally capable and moves around but he doesn't want to change his own bag.

I do the cooking and he always want his breakfast by 10 am,he is very demanding and controlling.

You can see and feel he loves his daughters more than my husband,he uses a urinal for my husband to dump,while he can go to the wash room

My husband's sisters treats him like junk,they talk to him any how and their father will not say a word. He is the youngest and he is 48,we just had a baby and am getting burnt out.

They don't appreciate me helping their parents,they remind me of anything they give to the baby, so I have made them know I don't want anything from them because I don't beg for it. They call me a bitch for doing nothing to them.

They just hate me because of them my husband and I have changed our numbers,because they always sent hateful messages to us.

The saddest part is we stay with the parents and when they try and come and visit they are so rude I am new in this country,so don't have any place to go,don't have friends because it is 24/7 work.

I have told my husband that I want to move out as he can still take care of his parents because I can't stay under the same roof with his siblings when they come. Their father knows about this but seems he is afraid of his daughters.

Anytime there is a problem between my husband and his sister all his father says is ...."well, if that is what you will do I will check your mother and I into a nursing home". While my husband never said he will not take care of them, just for him to stand up for himself his father says that. Why wouldn't he tell his daughters that? Thanks for the listening ears. PS. there is more

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New Life
by: Anonymous

You and your husband certainly sound as if you have gone above and beyond with taking care of his parents.

Perhaps with the new life of your baby you and your husband will let the family know you are moving out and into your own house without the parents.

You are not alone (although you are certainly lonely with no friends of your own)! I'm sure we all understand exactly what you are going through! I have found that people on this site can hear me and listen to what I need to say.It helps.

Going into assisted living or a nursing home is not always a 'bad' thing. My mom is doing well now in assisted living. She could no longer live on her own no matter how hard my brother and i tried to help her stay in her home.

I have found that no matter how diplomatic my brother and i have been with the family, they hate us just the same.

Write again and let us know how you are doing.
m in Santa Rosa Ca

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