Unfair Judgement from Male Siblings RE: Mom 90yrs Old
HI! My mother of 90yrs old, whom I love very much, was admitted to the local emergency, 2 weeks ago. We honestly , thought this was her last day, but like almost a "miracle" all was changed.
She was "supposed" to have had a heart attack about 1 month ago, but now, the doctor's were all puzzled, either it was her "cancer" in the intestine but with all the "tests" taken all is OK .
Now, she has returned to her apartment,(by the way, at the hospital she "refused" all help. Says she can manage on her own.. (but she forgot to say that my younger sister had started to bake for her, that I do her weekly laundry, buy her TV Bingo cards, my older brother does her groceries...
All to say, that I visited Mom last Sunday, (while bringing her, her "bingo cards". She had to go to the doctor's the next day, but my mother is a "very proud person" who normally has always had her hair done, no matter what.. So, I brought my curling iron, and asked her if I could "roll" her hair. She agreed,(even if she was weak, that day).
I took a comb and put a bit of water on it before starting to curl her hair.. Then ,Wow,, something happened, she thought I would electrocute her with the water in comb. She got up, ran to bathroom,and held her head, saying " OH, I can't breath, I will die, OMG, I ran to her friends apartment on the same floor, and asked her to come quick, as I thought my mother would be "DEAD" when I came back.. Well, NO, she was on the couch, slouching, with a wet towel on her head, and worst thing was that she told her "friend" My daughter almost killed me....
She was talking to herself "Oh my God , give me Peace, I want to be alone".. Her friend replied to me, that she
had visited Mom in the afternoon and she was doing so good.. I felt so guilty, and said to her , If this is the way she feels I will go. Trust me, I took a "Panic" attack on the way home, and I cried for almost 3 hours, without stopping.
My husband told my siblings not to talk to me , as I was in no shape or condition to do this..
My brothers whom I called to tell them, what had happened on my visit, started to tell me, that she never acts that way, with them & for me to "smarten up"..They even swore, so I told them that apparently, me & my younger sister get upset..
So, we decided NOT to go back & take a "break" for awhile. Now, they make us feel guilty, but funny that they don't deprive themselves , from going to their cottages or bring their wives of working "trips"..
I am the eldest of the girls, and was always very close to MOM.even felt like her 'MOM & SISTER
The Boys are viewed as almost GODS in her eyes, when they come, it is with gifts or bring her to a restaurant.
My oldest brother, whom is closest to me, told me that I should have NOT touched my Mom"s hair. and he was sooo upset with me. Said that we could cause her death, we should not talk or disagree with her in anyway. Then he said that, we can at least call her back , as she is doing better, even if she is still weak.
I am so, confused, DO NOT KNOW what to do, I LOVE MOM, but if it means to keep away, for her NOT to get upset, I will do this. ( I pray for her but in my heart I can't call her. How, can me & my younger sister deal with this matter.. Hope to hear from some of you! Thanks