Unappreciated

by Janet
(USA)

As a widowed teacher I have the summer off of work and was able to help my elderly parents more that my other four siblings.


There were a lot of doctor's appointments, shopping, cooking and errands. My other siblings would show up for a weekend and take them out to dinner and I would hear how great they are and what fun they had. My time with them was spent doing the "less fun aspects" of caregiving.

Long, self pitying story short - I am angry, resentful and hurt. I feel like I am being used and unappreciated. The summer is almost over. I am tired, sad, lonely, angry and hurt.

I lost my temper this morning, while we did talk it through to some degree, I feel badly. I told them I felt unappreciated and that I did not like to have an angry tone directed to me and would appreciate "please and thank you". That I felt like the least favorite child.

I am angry at my siblings that they don't call to see how I am doing. To say thanks for taking on the burden of the care. I am hurt - and now I feel guilty.

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Over it
by: She will live to be 100

My 93 year old mother has lived with my husband and me for 7 years. She is in excellent shape physically and mentally and my husband and I are starting to feel resentment and stress.

She is nosy and critical and likes to be in control. My one sister has no children and is an artist who lives across the country and travels worldwide with her husband They are in Bali right now.

She has seen my mom three times in the last four years but has been on separate trips to six other countries in that time. It is all abstract to her. I am still working full time as a school counselor and have two daughters and five grandchildren and also help them out.

I feel life is passing us by. I am never rude to my mom . Oh well I could just go on and on. It could be worse .

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No Guilt!
by: Anonymous

Thanks for the response. I am taking a break from the folks right now and letting go of the resentment. Because you are so right that others are going on with their lives while I wait in anger for acknowledgment that they don't even know I am waiting for.

Ridiculous amount of doctor's appointments! lol
Thanks!

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No Guilt!
by: Anonymous

Put your stick away. I'm sure it's safe for me to say that every one of us here has hit our limit, lost our temper for a moment and felt guilty for doing so. If we didn't I think we could call ourselves "robots"!

Having siblings myself, your story could easily be mine. I hear you!! It sounds like your parents are lucky to have your care.

Isn't it overwhelming how many freakin' doctor appointments people can have!?

Remember that song, "I'm gonna wash that man right outta my hair"? Well, maybe not but do what you need to do to wash your resentments off and start over fresh.

When I was holding onto my resentments about not being appreciated (or even seen) it was making me sick and the other people were just going about their lives without a thought about me.
Let us know how you make out.
m-santa rosa CA

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