Trying to Take Care of 85 yr old Mother when 89 yr old Father will not Let You.
My father has been verbally & emotionally abusive for all of my 58 yrs. Not just to me, but also to my mother. He is now 89 yr. old, she is 85 yr. old. My mother never stood up for herself or any of her 4 daughters. The abuse was bad enough that all 4 of us are still terrified of upsetting him.
Isn't that ridiculous!!
He is still driving even though he has had multiple "small" accidents. I have attempted to enlist the doctor's help to revoke his license. It is now going on 3 months & still no help. I went to the police station to see if I could legally just take his keys. No. Meanwhile I am terrified that he is going to kill someone.
My mother is no longer able to cook or clean. It took years for him to allow any help. "I have 4 daughters, why should I pay someone?"
We have been cooking meals & bringing them in, but he won't eat them because they are "leftovers". We are running in 4 - 5 times a week from 30 miles away even in severe weather because he won't let us bring in more than 2 meals at a time.
I am angry & frustrated. If it wasn't for my mother, I would stop helping. But I am angry with her for never standing up for herself or for us. She actually throws us under the bus so she won't have to deal with him.