Trapped in a Bird Cage. Caring for my 85 Year old Mother.
by Teresa Palmer
Three years ago my father died from prostate cancer. I cared for him until he died here at home in my arms on a Tuesday morning. I didn't mind so much as I was very close to my father and he was kind and loving. Caring for him didn't seem so bad.
Then when I thought I could get back to my life my 85 year old mother got sick and here I am again caring for my mother. I can't work as she needs help 24/7. We have never got on very well and now its worse. She's very stubborn and never listens to reason. My husband walked out on me nearly 6 years ago and I get so lonely and long to have a relationship with a man, but they pick me up see my situation and run as fast as they can.
I have 2 older brothers, one that does nothing at all to help and the other does what he can. Its not fair just because I'm single I have to give up my life. I will soon be 51yrs old and my life is passing me by. I want to live, I want to enjoy being in love and sharing a life with someone and enjoy intimacy again with a man. Instead, I'm stuck in this bird cage. I'm not getting any younger and soon I will be to old to enjoy those things again.
Not working, I hardly ever have any money. A few dollars here and there for doing some sewing for people. My mother has a bad heart, Pulmonary hypertension, diabetes and arthritis, Osteoporosis and high blood pressure. Not to mention her memory is going fast. Meanwhile, my brothers go out to dinner and shopping with their wives, go on vacation, do as they please and I'm stuck in this bird cage. With all the stress I have developed heart problem and high blood pressure and had a mild heart attack a few months back.
Why do I have to be the one to do all this? Why do I have to be the one to watch both my parents die. I cant even get a bit of nursing care in to give me some relief because mother won't have it! I'm so tired...that's another thing. She won't go to bed till 1am and not a minute before or a minute after. It's a 15 minute production. I would like just one time to just go to bed myself at 11 or midnight, but I have to wait for her to go to bed.
I hate this....I really really hate this!