"Town Without Pity"
Beginning in the 80s, I noticed that various friends, acquaintances and mostly family members were lecturing me about my lack of concern for my mother.
I couldn't understand this because I was there for her weekly, and my children (then still at home) would also visit and help out. She had a big family who would visit frequently.....I'm an only child. But, I couldn't go to Wal-Mart without getting "hit" with a reprimand. I even sought out my priest's help as to what was happening.
Her doctor, a first cousin, wouldn't answer my calls or written correspondence yet I had power of attorney. Finally, my mother is directed by her doctor to an assisted living facility due to moderate dementia. The call came to me from the doctor's sister!
She's now in a very nice assisted living home...I was forced to get guardianship for her because of her sibling's interference and calls to the staff on my mother's behalf. Now, each time my husband and I visit her, I get hammered the whole visit, and then a follow-up call by phone later in the day telling me how bad a person I am.
I do love her, but she's created a bad reputation for me which is not deserved, and visiting her is getting to be a nightmare. I'm doing everything I can for her, and so is my husband. This is causing a change in attitude by my children toward this woman for which I feel bad, but it's understandable.
Any suggestions? Please don't tell me to "just show love"... I've been doing that. Thank you.