Tortured by Siblings

My sisters are torturing me. I'm trying to care for my 80 yr old father who has dementia/Alzheimer's. My 50-something year old sister lives with/off him and makes my care taking efforts difficult/near impossible. She claims I'm "power of attorney" so I should do everything.


She is an alcoholic/drug addict who has always been taken care of by my parents but since my mother passed away I cannot get her out of my father's house. Short of having her legally removed/evicted, I do not know what do to.

My father still has sympathy for her every time she cries on his shoulder and does not want her to leave. But she is just getting in the way. She throws away food prepared for him, wakes him up in the middle of the night, steals medication (which is no longer kept at his house), runs up his power bill and generally torments all (except one sister) non-stop with her cries of wolf in the middle of the night.

She is detrimental to his health. When I try to stay with him overnight she makes it extremely difficult, even to the point of calling the police. My other sister doesn't want her to leave because then she would become, solely, her problem. My concern now is not my sisters, it is my father. I do not know what to do.

After two years of this, I am desperate. When I do try to do something these two sisters undermine it. I know it is easier for everyone if I do everything but two of them just keep making it more difficult. What should I do?

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Just Do It.
by: Angele'

I suggest you go back and read your submission. What would you tell someone else in your position to do? You have Power of Attorney for a reason.

As difficult as it may be for you to initiate legal proceedings to remove your sister from your father's home, it appears that not doing so violates your responsibility to your father who is your priority. Allowing your sister to live with your father, knowing her irresponsible, self-centered, and, as you indicate, illegal behavior is impacting the well-being of your father is enabling a bad situation to continue.

Step up to the plate. If you simply cannot do so, give someone else the Power of Attorney and let go of the situation. Can't have it both ways.

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