Too Young for This....

by Anonymous

I am in my early 30's and my mother passed away 3 years ago and my father moved in with us 6 months ago at the age of 78. With literally no retirement and no assets to his name it was his only choice and we were happy to do it.

However, he literally sits around all day going from the living room to his bedroom waiting around for us to do something. I am a home educator to our two small children, I work part time as a Doula and own a small house cleaning company so my plate was more than busy when we decided to have him live with us.

I am SO angry right now because he REFUSES to do anything.

There is a senior center less than 1/2 mile from our home and we have tried to get him involved with our local church, local meetings, etc but he will have none of it.

He literally waits around for breakfast, lunch, dinner and then if we go anywhere he is right there with us...there have been NO breaks.

We have intentionally chosen to live in a small home that never felt small until he moved in. He is SO messy and we are not. He hates the fact that we eat nutritionally balanced meals, if it's not fried or smothered in gravy he doesn't like it.

If your reading this and your in your 40's I BEG YOU TO NOT HAVE CHILDREN AT YOUR AGE. Unless you are independently wealthy or have the resources to make sure you are cared for in your elderly years TRUST ME as much as your kids love you it's SELFISH of you to have children and do this to them when they are in the middle of raising their kids and most likely at the busiest time of your life.

I know how selfish this sounds and I even hate that I'm reading it and these words have come out of my heart/fingers but this is where I am at and there seems to be no end in sight.

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Nip this in the bud
by: Anonymous

If he has no assets, get him on a waiting list for senior low income housing. If he is this unbearable now wait until your kids are teens and he has dementia = recipe for family meltdown.

He should also qualify for medicaid.....get the paperwork started now....and do not quit your not be an enabler.

Don't feel bad!
by: Anonymous

There are many of us out here - kinda like the silent majority - who understand all too well what you are feeling.

I admire you and your husband for taking on the burden and you will always be glad that you did your best to do what is right, but at some point you have to set your own limitations for your sake and the sake of your family.

Preserving your OWN family is most important. Don't feel guilty for knowing and wanting to be able to do that!

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