Told not to Come Back to Dad's House
I have been helping my parents for 2 1/2 years and now been told to leave and not come back.
About 2 1/12 years ago my mom started to physically deteriorate. I started to help out with driving her places and shopping. Then my mom fell and broke her hip.
She recovered fairly well and then got breast cancer. She did radiation, and then had her breast removed. Her heart then just got too weak and she passed away Sept. of 2014.
I am the only child in the city. My sister lives abroad, one brother about 2 hours away and one brother about 25 minutes away. My 3 boys 25,29 and 30 along with my husband have been helping my dad ever since.
My mom was a bit of a hoarder, and did all of the finances and shopping. My dad seemed to be doing okay and pushing forward.
About 2 weeks ago, I went to see my dad. He was sitting in his bed, very alert. I said hi and he very angrily said what are you doing here? That surprised me, and I said most people respond with a hello. He said well I'm not, you can leave and don't come back. I left.
I did speak with my brother about this, and he knew nothing about it.
My dad has a long history of being verbally abusive to certain people, and never apologizes or accepts responsibility for his actions.
I was taken quite aback and don't know what to do. I kind of feel like the writing is on the wall and I should just stay away. I am open to talking to him,if he makes the first move. I am angry, hurt, frustrated and don't feel like crawling back to him.
I have let my family members know of the situation, and my brother who lives 25 minutes away, has stepped in to help my dad.
I don't really know how to live with this, plus the ripple effect is huge. I have 3 sons, 2 daughters-in-law and 5 grandchildren.
That is what is happen with Caregiving in my life.