Tired, Mad, and Sad
Hello, I have read many posts here and would just like to acknowledge all of you.I can relate to many of your stories. My husband and I have been caregivers for about three years. We moved my in-laws here from California. We are in the Midwest. They are set up in my two bedroom finished basement. My mother in law asked if she could come here. She wanted to stay with us for about two months so she could find her own place close to us. We sold their house and began the move.
My husband packed their house, the two story barn, and two storage sheds packed to the brim. It was awful. My husband and one of my brother in laws did everything. Of course no one else could be bothered. They also came with their two big dogs. They misbehave and she treats them better than people.
My father in law has Parkinson's and my mother in law's complaints are too many to go into. We set up their doctors. A neurologist, an oncologist, a cardiologist, urologist,gynecologist, primary care physician,chiropractor, and an acupuncturist.
We have been to more doctor appointments than I can count. Let's not leave out the ER visits,lab visits,and various scans. My mother in law can still drive, but will not go to the doctor with my father in law. Rarely will she go without me.
If she does I have to hear about it. This woman is amazing. She knows everything, has done everything, no one has suffered more than she has!
When I bring their dinner no one can
get a word in. I know this sounds silly, but she copies me and gets mad because she feels my husband does more for me than her. She is a master manipulator and martyr.
A few weeks ago when we were not home, mom decides to hook up her two dogs together (110lbs combined) and go for a walk. Yep, they pulled her down and she broke her wrist. She had to crawl up my rural driveway back to the house. She needed surgery.
The pain medications make her sick,and the fall out from that was terrible. My husband and I have been down there for the better part of two weeks taking care of them. I almost begged the doctor to keep her overnight after the surgery.
I actually caught her walking backwards down the stairs after I told her to stay off of them. I don't want another fall! She insisted she would not fall. After much anguish and guilt, we have decided to move her into independent care. We found a beautiful brand new place that she put a deposit on!
She has now informed us that nobody is getting her out of the house. Especially without her dogs. We explained to her we couldn't do it anymore. With the stairs and rural terrain it wasn't safe. She could care less.
She would die without her dogs,they are a part of her, and the only things she has. So, the dogs were the ones holding your head, dressing you, and running around making sure you had everything you needed. No wonder I'm tired, mad, and sad.