Three Lazy Siblings

by Catie
(San Francisco, CA, USA)

I have three lazy siblings who do not contribute to the care of either parent who are divorced.


I make daily calls to my dad who is not in good health, lives further away, and may have a mild case of dementia. Mom lives with me, and I provide for her.

Angry and resentful doesn't begin to cover it.

The siblings were like this growing up, and character-wise never changed. I go to work, and then come home and take Mom out to eat so she can get out of the house and have a change of scenery, and we take a Sunday drive doesn't matter what day of the week it is.

Now she is unable to do much physically, so is not as mobile. She never joined a church group or senior citizens center. Tried caregivers but she did not like the people that were sent.

Vacations?

I have to go with her, so that is not a break. I am trying to make the best of a bad situation, but am unbelievably pissed off. I think after the parents go on to the next life, I won't be dealing with the siblings.

My attitude towards them (I am the third child of four) has deteriorated. They are not stupid people by any means, but passing the buck on the care of parents is inexcusable. Okay, I think I have vented.
Thank you.

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Not my problem
by: Anonymous

I too have three siblings who refuse to have anything to do with our father. Only one keeps in contact with me and she never asks how dad is doing or supports me.

My father is 88 and lives by himself. He is on Hospice and I have Seniors Helping Seniors come in to clean and do his shopping.

There are times when he doesn't like the caregivers and then he plays the guilt card. If he doesn't like the caregiver, I tell him that's his problem, not mine. The caregiver stays and he has to deal with it.

I visit my father frequently, do his laundry, and take him on outings and vacations. What I don't do is let him control my life.

As for my siblings, when we all stand before God and have to account for our actions in caring for our father, I'll tell them it's their problem, not mine.

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Mom is so mean to me, dad is in late stage Alzheimers, siblings don't come around
by: Anonymous

I can't handle too much more, mom said to me today why are you wearing scrubs.. You aren't a medical assistant? But I am a medical assistant, graduated from Carnegie institute in 85.

She is always bringing up my past, and trying to control me,,,she has ruined any relationship I ever had, because she loves gossip and drama. I want to move out, but I take care of dad, if it wasn't for me he wouldn't be alive today.

He did not want this, she is just keeping him alive for the money.. I can't take too much more. My siblings don't even visit him, and my twin, who is a Cena, lives 10 minutes away.

My dad is/was my hero.. the kindest soul anyone would want to meet...i just don't know how much more of "ma" I can handle.......

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Oldest daughter of Mom, and her common law husband
by: Anonymous

My mother has four children and her "husband" has five, nobody takes care of them except me.

I'm the only one who saw my true father also, my siblings simply stole him away across country, middle of the day, and changed his will (he was 94 at that time, and they didn't tell me, or ask him, (!) and they never even buried him according to the fake will, (!), they threatened my LIFE, also, I have police reports.

They also, took away his phone and told the new nurses not let me talk to him.

Of course now I must guard Mom and "husband", and also care for them, but "hubby" is becoming abusive to mother AND myself.
I am frightened with no help.

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Whose Life Is It Anyway
by: Wendy

Hi I am in the similar position to you. You do seem to not have any resentment against your parents which is lovely. The question I have asked myself this week is -

My mother has the life she wants with me dancing attendance on her.

My sister has the life she wants.

What I have been asking myself this week regarding myself is

"Whose life is it anyway".

Whilst others have got exactly what they want and need, I haven't. Have you.

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