This is Hard

by Chris
(Montana)

As the youngest of 4 kids, it has fallen to me to carry the bulk of this load caring for our parents. They still live independently, but dad's health is not good, due to COPD. I recently helped them move into a healthier apartment (mold in the old one) and was on my own with them, even having notified my siblings of the move. Almost $1000 and I doubt I'll see any reimbursement.


Mom lies. She's always been the princess, expecting others to make sure her life is grand. I love my mom, but HER mother is still alive at 103.

I'm terrified mom will live that long. She's almost 80. She's losing her mental faculties at least a little bit. She makes up "facts" about other family members.

I constantly have to remember to not believe everything she says because I end up mad at the rest of the family. She acts the martyr, to the point where everyone feels so bad for her and builds her up to be this saint. She is a pro at setting us against each other. But I still love her. How can this be?

Dad is depressed. He doesn't remember some of the move, like when the movers brought the beds and recliners into the new place. That scares me. He gets medical care at the VA and it's pretty good here. But I love my dad and will miss him so much when he's gone.

I'm frustrated and very very tired. I have my own medical concerns that I'm still adjusting to.

Things like this stress me out so much and I end up having allergic-like reactions to things I normally wouldn't. Mostly though, I'm just tired.

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why
by: Greenacres

I am the middle child with the care of my mom in my home. Why DO they set everybody up against each other????? It IS hard, just remember firstly that you only get one mom.

Just concentrate on the positives and good memories. Remember that they get anxious too (your parents). Don't even try to understand your siblings. Probably by the time you hear some "lie" it is twisted around and someone gets their feelings hurt.

I can't even get emotional support from my sisters, all they do is make you second guess yourself. Do not feel guilty for Any of your actions because they sound like they're coming from love.

Careful not to take on too much, you should be able to count on help from siblings but sometimes you just don't get it. Also don't believe all you hear, focus on yourself.

I had to go on tranquilizers and it just isn't worth it so I cut my sisters out of my life because they are toxic to me. I am not recommending this, it is what I had to do, maybe your family is different. Warning.... just wait till parents move in with you, talk about it being hard!

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