They Think I owe her for Taking Care of my Mom When She was in Dementia

by Marilynn
(Tennessee)

I stay with my 92 year old aunt who has no children. There are several cousins who could be helpful but mostly just stir up mess and drama with my aunt.


This causes a variety of trust issues. I volunteered for this caregiving role partly out of a sense of obligation because yes indeed she took care of my mom...but would not allow me to step in when I felt it was time to make some changes in her living arrangements, so there is that...

Anyway, auntie has no children, and I am the youngest of several cousins. I have no help, and due to my aunts health issues and her dementia, I am quickly finding myself over my head with her needs for safety in the home.

I think it might be time for her to reside in an Alzheimer's care facility. But I would feel,like a failure as she has specifically expressed a desire to remain at home until her death,,,arrrgh!

She expects me to be in before dark, cook, clean, do laundry, and all of this for nothing more than room. I pay her phone and grocery bill...it is too much considering that I have given up my life with my husband to provide care for her.

Too much indeed. It would not be so awful if the cousins pitched in and paid me a bit, but no...they throw guilt on me and pretend that I owe her. Belize is beginning to look inviting!

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