They Think I owe her for Taking Care of my Mom When She was in Dementia

by Marilynn
(Tennessee)

I stay with my 92 year old aunt who has no children. There are several cousins who could be helpful but mostly just stir up mess and drama with my aunt.


This causes a variety of trust issues. I volunteered for this caregiving role partly out of a sense of obligation because yes indeed she took care of my mom...but would not allow me to step in when I felt it was time to make some changes in her living arrangements, so there is that...

Anyway, auntie has no children, and I am the youngest of several cousins. I have no help, and due to my aunts health issues and her dementia, I am quickly finding myself over my head with her needs for safety in the home.

I think it might be time for her to reside in an Alzheimer's care facility. But I would feel,like a failure as she has specifically expressed a desire to remain at home until her death,,,arrrgh!

She expects me to be in before dark, cook, clean, do laundry, and all of this for nothing more than room. I pay her phone and grocery bill...it is too much considering that I have given up my life with my husband to provide care for her.

Too much indeed. It would not be so awful if the cousins pitched in and paid me a bit, but no...they throw guilt on me and pretend that I owe her. Belize is beginning to look inviting!

Click here to post comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Elder Care Anger and Resentment.


Home | Site Map | About | Contact | Privacy Policy | Disclosure

© Copyright evSky Incorporated 2008-2017 | All Rights Reserved


Eldercare for

Aging Parents

Are you having a difficult time with being the "Caregiver" for Mom and Dad?

Click Here to Read What Others are Saying and Leave a Comment About Your Own Experiences....

Or Start your Own Discussion Page!

Recent Articles

  1. Part Time Caretaker Becoming Full Time Caretaker Next Week

    Nov 14, 17 09:23 AM

    We moved my mom into a nearby senior apartment back in 2012 due to a small stroke. At that time she was still driving and fairly independent. Fast forward

    Read More

  2. Terrible Feeling! Trapped no Win Situation

    Nov 07, 17 09:37 AM

    My mother is 92 years of age and she has always been controlling. Since my fathers death 3 years ago she has constantly complained that I used to come

    Read More

  3. A True Narcissist...

    Nov 01, 17 02:30 PM

    There is no content for a narcissist except the kind that will suck you in. Living with one is a total mind screw where you always end up the bad guy.A

    Read More