They Always Disliked me but Now Want me to Care for Them


(Arkansas)

My in-laws never approved of me. I have been in their lives for 40 years but because I am of a different background they disapproved of me.


Their numerous slights and comments still sting and haunt me even though I did nothing to deserve them. I know there are two sides to every story but even my husband says they are small minded and I did my best.

Well guess what? They are now in their late 80's and since we live in the same town now they want to be my buddy. They are needing help in so many ways and I am asked to fill in a lot of the time.

Now they want me to help them with their finances, medical care, cook all holiday meals and pretty soon I will probably be cleaning out their house so they can move to a townhouse. I know that I need to be the bigger person but this is really hard.

Comments for They Always Disliked me but Now Want me to Care for Them

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Nope
by: Anonymous

I would not. They will likely treat you poorly as usual. Your husband should understand why. Sorry, they are just using you.

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Set Limits
by: Anonymous

You get to have your own life, and frankly as they are so clearly simply using you it is completely reasonable for you to choose how much time you want to give them, even if that is none. You've dealt with their disapproval for years, therefore if they disapprove of your limits, well, it is nothing new.

Ask yourself what you consider genuinely reasonable to do, and do that. If they want more, too bad. You come first. Really, you do. They have had their lives--you don't sacrifice yours for people who have made it clear they do not care for you. Or anyone, frankly.

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More info
by:

I am helping them out of respect for my husband and also because they have been sort of OK grandparents. I pray every night for me to be able to forgive them for all they have done to me.

With prayer I feel I can face them. There must be some reason for me to be helping people who were so mean to me.

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