There's Nothing Wrong with Her, It's all Us
by D. Gibbs
I am really trying to be patient but sometimes I admit I do blow up. I understand there is fear, anxiety and frustration when aging, the body goes making everyday tasks painful and difficult, the mind slows down making it harder to understand, the hearing goes making it a struggle to follow along or stay in a conversation but OH BOY old people will push you to levels that a human being just can't contain! My mother lives with us and yes I did it because morally it's the right thing to do, but is it really?
One year later I am thinking maybe a small senior apartment would be best. The level of denial in her behavior that contributes to the discord in our home is even more frustrating to digest. I have enrolled her with a family councilor to help us get through to her, she comes out of her sessions with an understanding that maybe she could change some of her annoying ways but once home and comfortable again a few days from her therapy here comes the same behaviours.
I love my mother but to be honest everyday the whining, bitching, nagging, criticizing, repeating herself over and over again, the judging, bossy, and her need to control, she questions everything, involves herself in everyone's business, complaining, oh and the temper tantrums!
When she can't hear she blames us saying we never told her something. It's all us, she is just misunderstood, ARG! I am losing that warm fuzzy morally obligated feeling, I take things day by day now but I don't know for how long, I am considering buying a home in which she has her own fully contained in-law suite separate from my area as opposed to the room she has across from my master bedroom now.
The last resort would be finding her a small senior apartment near by that I can come and check on her. Is anyone else out there feeling like this or am I a bad daughter?