There are so many of us!
Wow, reading your stories and then all the subsequent comments..... there are so many of us out there - adult children left to care for an elderly, difficult and demanding parent. It's painful how many of us have other siblings,but we are the only one's left to care for them.
Yes, I do get those moments of fluctuating between extreme compassion for my mom's suffering and then I just pray to God, please take her. For her sake and mine.
I have no life and she demands I do everything for her - feed her, toilet her, bath her, change her, shift furniture around in MY home so that she can just sit on her chair and comfortably reach out to anything she wants without having to stretch.
She smokes cigarettes in my home, has burned holes in my carpets and couch.... sometimes I just want to rather die!! Then maybe one of the other family members will say "oh well, now she is dead, I guess one of us will now have to look after our mother".
Don't get me wrong.
I don't hate her, I can't. She gave birth to me. She is my mother. God will look down on me and say "you could not have tried harder with her" I don't want to be judged for my lack of care for her.
She has been an abusive mother, narcissistic my whole life, now I am fated to care for her 24/7. Its my lot.
But I tell you, if my current plans to get her into a frail care works, she is going into frail care!!!
Strength to us all x x