The Youngest Wife

by Me
(Indiana)

I quit my very good job writing software when my husband and I had an opportunity to live abroad for his job. Since we've been back, I am a stay at home wife and we're both happy that way. He is the youngest of 4, and I am 14 years his junior.


His parents are in their mid 70s, and are starting to have more and more health problems -- especially his father. They and his siblings ask/expect me to just suck it up and do absolutely everything...stop what your doing and fix my computer problem/it's random holiday cookout where I end up making EVERYTHING/help do this/and so forth. I finally told him that I resent him for never standing up for me. He just lets all of his selfish, no-good, taker family blatantly use me and I am over it.

I would NEVER let my family take advantage of a spouse that way. I have my faults, but am someone who always offers to help, is responsible, and has a hard time saying no. So I've dug some of my own hole with this. I don't want to get divorced, so I guess I'm just going to have to learn some better anger management practices. And how to say NO.

Thanks for letting me rant!

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I know your pain!
by: Anonymous

Dear Youngest Wife,

I feel your pain. I, too, am a housewife (after years of working) and because of that my husband and his family feel it's perfectly okay for their mother to live in a nursing home in our city and for me to be her primary caregiver for her doctor appointments, errands, bill paying, and such.

The fact that my Mother In Law hates me and constantly complains about the nursing home (the one I suggested so it's my fault) doesn't matter to them. When I ask Mother In Law if she would like to move where her "FAVORITE SON" lives she says they are too busy and since I don't work I can take care of her.

Truth is she really wants to live near her favorite son but he doesn't want her living in the same city as them. She, of course, doesn't want to ask him because she doesn't want to hear his rejection. They do nothing to help and only visit when it's convenient for them.

When I point out to favorite son how his mother would prefer to live near him he won't answer.

So I get stuck with her with no compensation (she is far from poor) because I "don't work." The fact that I have a household to take off, a mother who is ill that I help with, and other day to day duties besides my Mother In Law's crap, doesn't matter to the others.

So now I'm taking my life back and will do the very bare minimum for her. Maybe even go back to work so I can be "too busy" and thus, exempted from helping.

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