The Stairs are my Biggest Fear

by Kella
(St. Louis)

My 81 year old mother lives by herself in a two story home. I've been hinting for years that she needs to move out.


The biggest fear is that she will fall and not be found. She's wanting me to put another hand bar in the upstairs shower, but she's got to climb the stairs to get to the shower. I don't really want to retool her entire upstairs bathroom (she has a half bath in the mail level) if she still must climb the stairs to get to it.

Seems like putting a dress on a pig to me. How can I use the entire bathroom issue as leverage to get her to move out of her big two story house and into an assisted living or senior living center? As long as she's going up and down these stairs I feel like I'm living under a powder keg.

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You are Right!
by: Anonymous

Take mom out for a nice supper, with or without the support of other family members and clearly tell your mom it's far too dangerous for her to continue to live in that house, which it clearly is.

Next, make appointments to view assisted living apartments or facilities with your mom. You may need to get power of attorney to move forward and do what you know is really the right thing, but so be it. She may be angry for a bit, but once she's settled in to a nice apartment or facility and is living with others just like herself...she will get over it and be much happier for it.

Sometimes they are just afraid of the unknown and will fight it tooth and nail. Trust me, I've been where you are and you have to get tough to do what is right. As your mom ages she will require a lot more help and you should not wait until she's feeble to get her settled.

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