The Single and Only Daughter

by Gayle
(Chicago, IL)

My father died seven years ago and my mother is currently living alone in our family home. She's 84 years old. She is very capable of taking care of herself, and I help financially and otherwise because she's very poor and lives on nothing but Social Security.

My older brother lives less than 40 miles away. He fights with my mother whenever she needs help. He is quite capable of helping, but deeply resents having to do anything for her. He and I have had huge arguments because of his ill treatment of our mother and he has nearly hit me in anger during such arguments.

The trouble comes when the older brother is sort of needed - I can't always get hired people to do things for us. The older gets the "guilts" sometimes and tries to come in to do favors for us, but it generally winds up with his anger erupting, his behavior can often drive him to destroy or damage something, and his work is generally very shoddy and haphazard because he wants to finish as quickly as possible and get away from Mom.

He hates her because she spoiled him terribly when he was a child and he blames her for everything bad that has ever happened in his life. He is 62. My younger brother (44) lives 1,800 miles away and has been told by his psychologist that his obligations to his family are no longer important because he has a wife and child.

He has limited contact with us and offers to help financially, but has never followed through. I make decent money, and I don't mind helping my mother, although I am busy with my own job and house and it can get stressful. That's about it.

Comments for The Single and Only Daughter

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

Hello The Single and Only Daughter
by: Anonymous

From The Single and 2 Daughters & 1 son

RE: He hates her because she spoiled him terribly when he was a child and he blames her for everything bad that has ever happened in his life. He is 62.

From what I've read and I live with my 87 year old wonderful mother.... my sister seems to have extra narcissism in her. She is up and down emotionally. Maybe you can read up on "N's" and it might be your brother has extra "N" in him.

I'm sorry you are carrying most of the burden. One day we both will be rewarded for our dedication!!

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Elder Care Anger and Resentment.

Home | Site Map | About | Contact | Privacy Policy | Disclosure

© Copyright evSky Incorporated 2008-2019 | All Rights Reserved

Eldercare for

Aging Parents

Are you having a difficult time with being the "Caregiver" for Mom and Dad?

Click Here to Read What Others are Saying and Leave a Comment About Your Own Experiences....

Or Start your Own Discussion Page!

Recent Articles

  1. Toxic

    Sep 17, 19 12:03 PM

    My mother 77 had a fall in March of 2019 It's a long story, but she has a Muscular Disorder. It has left her totally Crippled. My sister came down for

    Read More

  2. There Are No Witnesses

    Sep 17, 19 11:56 AM

    Up early with my coffee in the quiet morning before my day begins, I see in the baby monitor that mom is sitting up in bed. Although now, her sitting up

    Read More

  3. Alobe

    Sep 17, 19 11:53 AM

    it's my sister and I she lives approx 300 miles away. our father has been diagnosed with dementia she at the time said she would move home to care for

    Read More