The Rich and the Deadbeat
(Amarillo, TX USA)
From a family of 5 two parents and three children, there are four of us left my mother passed from cancer in 2006. We all pitched in then.
2 years after that my father had a massive stroke. He is paralyzed on his left side and in the past 4 years has become totally dependent on caregivers, that being me and my daughter-in-law whom I pay to help 3 days a week. He can no longer hold urine or bm's messes himself once or twice a day.
He is mostly on autopilot and his autopilot is drunk I think. He frequently wanders around the house looking for the Intruders and sometimes sees alligators or giant worms he's called 911 thinking he'd been shot and stabbed. He insists at times we have secretly moved him to a different house, it looks like his home but it's not.
Two or three times a week we have adventures. I sleep during the morning hours so I can stay up at night when most of his delusions occur.
Unfortunately the rest of the world doesn't keep those hours, nurses come at 9 am ppl call at 10 doctor's visits. etc. I'm running on 2 hours of sleep which is why my body just shuts down and I can't function thus today's incident.
My sister is trying to reconnect with her cheating doctor husband and can't be bothered. She spends her time going on vacations and seeing a therapist. None of her kids call or stop by to see him only complained when the birthday and Christmas money stopped. My three children help out constantly and have since the stroke I do admit they get monetary compensation.
I have asked my sister on occasion to take Dad to the doctor, which she did do. I am amazed and grateful. My Brother works a full time job 3 blocks away from where we
live. I think his wife is a teacher ... but I really don't know anymore, their two kids never call or stop by either.
ALL of the kids in this family are old enough to help out their grandfather/father in SOME way. mow, clean, call, bring a jug of milk? a Pizza? nope nothing. I moved in with my father when it was discovered I had cancer and liver disease I took over 90 percent of his care when it seemed no one else would and the people we had hired to do so did not.
back to brother... he was mother's favorite and dad's too "The Golden Child" he does nothing now. after months of treatment and little success while still caring for dad I sent out a family wide text asking for SOMEONE to come take care of dad as I was sick and could not. I heard noises in my house, went out saw it was Brother and Sister-in-law (sister is on vacation again) standing in kitchen. Great!! Hi okay I'm going back to bed. I get up hours later and walk in the kitchen seeing everything the same and smelling the urine from my dad's room I check my messages brother has left me a message saying "Yeah, I figured if he really needed that stuff done he would have not been fast asleep in the middle of the day not when the rules of what he can and cannot do are posted so predominately on the refrigerator door".
I sent back "thanks so much the rules are for the people I have to hire. I figured family is smarter and doesn't need them and actually wants to help him. I'm done with you go sit and pass your judgments and do nothing else.
Why is it ok for SOME to sit around and wait on the will I hope he gives it to charity.