My mom and dad had Alzheimer's. My father died first and mom was diagnosed shortly after his death. My 4 siblings rarely helped over a period of ten years. They would fly in for two days, party with each other and fly home.
My parents were very good to all of us. They made their mistakes as did all of my siblings and me. Yet my siblings felt no duty to help my parents in their darkest hours.
The truth about our family became clear when I demanded that they help me with our parents. My anger came bursting out of me like a raging fire because I had been the care giver for years. This resulted in a shunning that has lasted since my mother's death.
There is no doubt in my mind that my siblings tell themselves and all their friends that "they did the best they could." At first, it baffled me how they could speak such lies let alone think them.
Then I was told by a funeral director that a majority of families have one child who truly cares for the parents. The rest of the family members are "pretenders."
The director went on to say, "The sad thing is the pretenders do not know they are pretending to care about two of the most important people in their lives. I often wonder if they truly care about anybody."