The only child and the entitled ingrate,,,
by Only Child
(New York City)
I am so glad I stumbled across this page. For a while I have been so mad at myself for having these dark feelings towards my mother. I am full of anger and resentment towards her and our living situation is unhealthy for everyone involved. My mom did not prepare herself throughout her life.
She lived on public assistance and did not work for more than a year or two. Now she is 70 and is riddled with illness. She has had several strokes, has congestive heart failure and is morbidly obese. I reluctantly brought her to live with me when she was evicted for failing to pay rent.
She has always been so irresponsible and did not parent me at all, instead sent me to live with relatives. I have 3 children and with my husband we pay close to $2500 in monthly rent. My kids (boys and girls) share a room and they are now getting older, needing space and privacy.
My mother occupies one of my 3 bedrooms and she has filled it to the ceilings with junk she collects, she's a hoarder. She sits in her chair all day and never leaves her room where she expects to be waited on, hand and foot.
She makes demands on my kids, doesn't know how to ask for anything such as "will you please throw out my soiled diaper bag", instead she just says "this bag gotta go", hell yes it does, because it
stinks up my entire house like a dirty out house.
My husband comes home from work and just starts spraying air freshener because he can barely stand the stench but even worst, he works two jobs so that we can afford to rent an entire house and he believes our children should be able to have their own room, I agree.
We cannot make vacation plans or even plans for an entire day because she needs her meals prepared and cannot go downstairs to our kitchen by herself. She is evil!!!
She has turned all of my family and even some of my friends against me by saying that I am a terrible daughter. She lies and says I don't feed her. She even told my cousin that she thinks I have been trying to poison her!!! Everyone frowns on me because all of their mother's have died. They think I am lucky to have this burden, they wish they had their mother.
I am tired of this and I will not continue to put her needs before the needs of my children. She told me that she knows her rights and that I cannot force her to go into a nursing home. I don't know my rights on this but I believe that our relationship is doomed unless she gets off of my shoulders.
She is impacting my sanity, my marriage and my children's comfort. Yes, sometimes I wish it was all over!!! God forgive me...