The Non Caregiver!
I have read lots of stories of people being the only carer and no help from siblings. But not yet come across anyone that has the problem of wanting to help care or help in any other way and not being allowed to.
My eldest sister lives next door to my elderly father so is constantly on the doorstep and takes care of most things, dad finds it tricky getting around but is capable of doing his own cooking and even a small amount of gardening, his mind is as sharp as a button.
In the past me and my husband have helped him clear out a shed at his request we were quite happy to do this for him.
A few days later my sister let rip and called me all the names under the sun because I didn't make arrangements with her to clear out his shed, this is when she lived not as close to dad with her husband (she is now widowed).
I feel as if I have to ask permission from my sister to even visit Dad, and then Get accused of not taking up any of the load.
My sister has a tendency to be a little controlling (if it's not her way its the wrong way)
Many of the family members have commented how wonderful my sister is an how much she is doing for Dad hinting that I am selfish but this is not the case. I would like to let people know that sometimes keeping distance is not through choice.