The family that takes and never gives.

by Emily
(usa)

Me and my older sister were raised by a single Mother who has a personality disorder and who had little maternal feeling for especially me and she neglected and abused us too. She would tell us when we were little that she should have aborted us and that we should go play in the street so a truck can run over us. Among other things.

I have tried to very hard not to need them since I was in my early 20s. I know they would not be there for me anyway because they turned me down when I needed them b4 . So I moved far away from my hometown years a go. However, I am now the sole caretaker for my Mother. My only sibling( Moms fave.) had a lot of help over the years from our Mother. Yet she literally kicked her out of her house after taking Moms last bit of savings.

To get her to leave my sister poured coke in her bed tossed all her cloths outside and turned her room upside down.

After this she called me and told me she did not care where Mom went period. My Mother then drove from 3000 miles (with a friend that I asked to go) in a run down car with her aging dog. She was going to travel alone. My sister said Mom could make it on her own after having 2 strokes. My son cannot stand my Mother since she is like a bratty teenager herself and he sees a therapist now to deal with her. I am on medication due to panic attracts and medication for sleep and stress. I am very upset with my sister . I have taken her in so many times and my Mom too she has always needed money. I remember one time my Mom need $ 2500.00 (as a loan) We could not afford this so we gave her $ 500.00. She was mad and told me "it was not a drop in the bucket!"

What bothers me the most is the fact that this is effecting my family and my life and my sister could care less. My family's life is important too, not just my sisters life. The well fare housing is full and there is not even a waiting list. And I live with myself if we never kick her out to be homeless. And I love her on some level although I cannot stand her personality.

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God sees
by: ann

Your story sounds very familiar to my own, self centered sister and all. Only difference is that it was my father. My sister (my fathers favorite) threw my father out in mid winter in knee deep snow. I had no choice I had to take him in. But it was like setting a wolverine loose in my life.

There was a lot of help out the for me and my father that I found out about the hard way, that ill be glad to pass onto you. One of your biggest allies in this struggle you will find will be the Salvation Army( GOD BLESS THEM!) another will be her doctor and also her case worker most of all you will need the Lord for strength.

The salvation Army helped get my father into a section 8 building. The place was beautiful, granite counter tops and ceramic floors in a high security building so I knew he was safe. All for 250.00 a month Social Security picked up the rest. In every city there are dozens of buildings like these some a little nicer then others

He complained and drove me crazy. But it was better then him living with me and wanting to hit my husband and kids all the time. Don't get me wrong it was still very hard. But I managed to get threw it until the Lord mercifully took him home.

I watched him die alone and buried him without the help of my sister. Even though she took out a large insurance policy on him. I lost my house and most of my belongings but I'm blessed....I have my husband and children who love me dearly. The Lord sees, he knows and will repay. God bless your heart.

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End the Family Curse
by: Anonymous

May I say first of all that I find your story very brave and courageous. Not many people could have established a life on their own without their families support. Please see that this makes you an exceptional person.

Sadly, your Mom has not had it in her to live such a noble life. If you are honest with yourself you must be deeply afraid that she will not only destroy your life, but your son's as well. This is a valid concern.

May I humbly suggest you find support in an Al-non meeting. I am not married to nor do I have alcoholics in my family, but I attend their meetings to learn to set boundaries and to find encouragement to keep living a healthy life.

The meetings basically help those of us who have destructive relatives or loved ones. Just look in the phone book for where there is a meeting near you. It has been so very helpful to me over the years. We may be able to offer you a little advice or encouragement in this forum, but I'd love to have you meet weekly with folks who help you protect your family in the midst of your mother's chaos.

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The family that takes and never gives - stop
by: Anonymous

Believe it or not, I understand, but your life is more important. $500 - not enough, well let the princess give her the money. Nothing good enough, she can leave. Put her at the Y. Install her in a woman's shelter. If you destroy your family - your son's childhood, you've only perpetuated the nightmare. Realistically, she doesn't give a dam - lousy to hear and very hard to completely internalize but it's true. She didn't mind torturing you as a child and your child means nothing to her. Save yourself, save what you can of your son's teen years...save what relationship you have with your spouse. Medical condition or not, she doesn't give a dam - she's selfish and self centered, THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT. HER LACK OF HOUSING, IS NOT YOUR FAULT. HER MISERABLE LIFE, IS NOT YOUR FAULT. If you don't get her out of what's left of your life, it will destroy it. She will then twist that as your fault. You owe her nothing, let the princess save her.

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