The Chosen One

My Mom always said she wanted to move in with me when and if she wound up alone in her old age.

Well about eight years ago she did, wind up alone. She refuses to move out of her home, so she insisted I move in. I did. She is almost 86 yrs. old now. I work and have a significant other. I take her to the doctor, grocery store, pharmacy and shopping. When she is sick, I bathe her, dress her, do her hair, cook her meals etc. I have no life of my own.

My significant other has had two bouts of bladder cancer, and a heart attack this year. I would like to spend more time with him, but can't. She refuses to come stay at his home so we can spend time together. These last two yrs. she has gotten to where she does not want to visit my children or grandchildren, or have them over to her house. No reason, just doesn't want to. So I get little time with them. She wants me home when it gets dark outside, as she is afraid to be alone at night.

I am at my wits end. I myself will be 62 this coming year. I feel I am losing precious time. I don't mind caring for her, but she is way too demanding, and gives in very little. She took care of her Mother, but she was easy to get along with, and never ever complained. Whatever my Mom wanted was fine with her. My Mother is nothing like her Mother.

I have four brothers and sisters. They have just recently helped a little. I'm not sure what to do. I feel guilty all the time, and stuck in the middle with no place of my own. Hopefully I can find a suitable resolution to this problem.

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Gt her a Sitter

Hire a babysitter, if you have to: your mother might not be happy with it at first, but if you just tell her it's that or being on her own and stick to your guns, she'll accept it.

You're entitled to a life of your own, and believe me, you could get to where she finally dies and you realize you had no life and have no relationships with your children because you let your mother take up all your time.

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