by Nellie
(Reno, Nevada)

I grew up in an upper-middle class neighborhood with three sisters and one brother, a loving caring father, and a mother who made our lives an utter living hell, and turned my dad into a martyr. Dad died eleven years ago from heart failure. And afterwards, we siblings fought over Ma and her care--the nasty old lady who was so cruel to us--and it broke the family apart.

Ma was always the center of attention, and still is. She continues to live on. She is 89 years old now, in an Alzheimer's facility that costs over $6,500 a month (when Dad died, she was left over a million dollars), her "care" managed and controlled by her youngest daughter, a full-blown wealthy religious nut, who has become "guardian" and cut her sisters and brother off from any input in her care, or any money or gifting we might have received for birthdays and Christmas.

Yet, "Sister" is very angry and resentful at us for not regularly visiting to pay homage to "Ma", a horrible selfish woman who got drunk every evening and beat up her husband and her children on a regular basis.

Dad told us every morning when we got up, to keep a low profile and stay out of her way, and that when we turned eighteen, it was best that we moved out. Immediately. And we did.

Why is it that the kind, generous people--such as my father--seem to pass before their time, and the tyrants live on forever? Nothing seems to fell "Ma"--not melanoma, not breaking a hip, not breast cancer, not pneumonia...she is an empty shell, no mind left, a ravaged body parked in a wheelchair all day, secured into bed at night so she won't wander off.

Years down the road, I feel that in a way my dad was lucky to pass on fairly quickly at the age of 82. He wouldn't have wanted to live on the way his wife does. The whole thing is a complete travesty.


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Life is hell on earth
by: Anonymous

Once we all understand that life is hell on earth, we can seek out a few moments of near bliss.

Seriously everything about this world and the people who balls it up is pretty rubbish. I'd do anything to have my parents back, mum died at the age of 52, dad was 75. I'm lucky I survived all the trials we went through as a family. I'm depressed but I'm fighting it.

I'm angry at God because he's pretty useless at looking after us all these days.I'm sad at people who abuse the elderly. I know some elderly are shamefully awful, but they are old maybe sick too. We cannot ignore them, neither can we change them.
But we can change how we deal with them.
And how we persevere.

It's not easy, old as they are, they are still some of the Psychopaths Narcissists and Sociopaths of this world.

Some are just depressed and their behaviour reflects that. They can get medicine help but done refuse it. We can only do the best we can under the circumstances. We carers are not superhuman, we are only human trying to struggle through a complicated time in someone's life.

But on most folk, being loving and kind can have great results.
However, on the few; it can work in reverse.
So basically life is full of rubbish and refuse, we've just got to try and dodge most if it.

by: Sylvia

Definitely. Your Father was blessed to be taken away from her. She sounds really not very pleasant.

I'm struggling w/ both of my parents (they are both 90) and in fairly good condition. They, God willing, will be having their 70 wedding anniversary this coming January 30th. Unheard of these days.

I just constantly have this slight nausea all the time. I worry about them so much. They DO have each other though. They will NOT go into a nursing home, and I don't know if I could put them there either. I hate those places.

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