by Nellie
(Reno, Nevada)

I grew up in an upper-middle class neighborhood with three sisters and one brother, a loving caring father, and a mother who made our lives an utter living hell, and turned my dad into a martyr. Dad died eleven years ago from heart failure. And afterwards, we siblings fought over Ma and her care--the nasty old lady who was so cruel to us--and it broke the family apart.

Ma was always the center of attention, and still is. She continues to live on. She is 89 years old now, in an Alzheimer's facility that costs over $6,500 a month (when Dad died, she was left over a million dollars), her "care" managed and controlled by her youngest daughter, a full-blown wealthy religious nut, who has become "guardian" and cut her sisters and brother off from any input in her care, or any money or gifting we might have received for birthdays and Christmas.

Yet, "Sister" is very angry and resentful at us for not regularly visiting to pay homage to "Ma", a horrible selfish woman who got drunk every evening and beat up her husband and her children on a regular basis.

Dad told us every morning when we got up, to keep a low profile and stay out of her way, and that when we turned eighteen, it was best that we moved out. Immediately. And we did.

Why is it that the kind, generous people--such as my father--seem to pass before their time, and the tyrants live on forever? Nothing seems to fell "Ma"--not melanoma, not breaking a hip, not breast cancer, not pneumonia...she is an empty shell, no mind left, a ravaged body parked in a wheelchair all day, secured into bed at night so she won't wander off.

Years down the road, I feel that in a way my dad was lucky to pass on fairly quickly at the age of 82. He wouldn't have wanted to live on the way his wife does. The whole thing is a complete travesty.


Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

by: Sylvia

Definitely. Your Father was blessed to be taken away from her. She sounds really not very pleasant.

I'm struggling w/ both of my parents (they are both 90) and in fairly good condition. They, God willing, will be having their 70 wedding anniversary this coming January 30th. Unheard of these days.

I just constantly have this slight nausea all the time. I worry about them so much. They DO have each other though. They will NOT go into a nursing home, and I don't know if I could put them there either. I hate those places.

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Elder Care Anger and Resentment.

Home | Site Map | About | Contact | Privacy Policy | Disclosure

© Copyright evSky Incorporated 2008-2017 | All Rights Reserved

Eldercare for

Aging Parents

Are you having a difficult time with being the "Caregiver" for Mom and Dad?

Click Here to Read What Others are Saying and Leave a Comment About Your Own Experiences....

Or Start your Own Discussion Page!

Recent Articles

  1. 70 year old caregiver left nothing in will

    Aug 15, 17 09:21 AM

    As a professional nurse,and new daughter-in-law at age 55, I thought inviting my new husband's mother to live with us would be a blessing. He was a widower

    Read More

  2. So Many Same Story?

    Aug 14, 17 09:51 AM

    For the past year or so my mom who is 83 has been showing the early stages of dementia, forgetting simple dates names etc,,, it has slowly progressed but

    Read More

  3. Stressed Out

    Aug 14, 17 09:42 AM

    I receive several phone calls a day from my mother complaining about my dad, and the fact she feels I do not do enough for her. I am exhausted, depressed.

    Read More