Tearing Up as I Read and Type

I'm also dealing with the same problems. I'm the youngest of 4 boys and I've been doing it all on my own since my dad passed away a few years back.

I've been struggling with bills and keeping food in the house for both me and my mother. My oldest brother, who is in his 40's, moved out when he was about 18 and while he doesn't physically live here, he has no problem paying a bill or 2 for us and pays one or 2 for us every month.

Now the other brothers? They won't even lift a finger to help with any financial responsibility.

They've never helped with anything and they only come around when they need money. Both of their kids live here with me and mother and I love my nephews but I just can't do everything by myself.

My brothers have full time jobs and I have a part-time job averaging 25 hours a week and I have to literally stretch my money to make sure bills are paid and groceries are in the house.

Every time I ask my 2 brothers for help, they say "I don't have any money". How are their pockets always empty when they both have children?! Every time they get paid, they're gone for days at a time and won't even come home to feed their sons or even call them.

I've cried myself to sleep so many times and I've hurt even more when I have to hear my mom say they don't care about her and how they avoid her once they get paid. Whenever my mom does get money, she has to feed their kids, who are in their early teen years, and mom never has anything left for herself.

So I usually have to go into my stash to give my mom a few dollars to make sure she has food to feed herself. I used to grocery shop every 3 or 4 weeks when it was just me and mother but now that my brothers are back in the house, they eat up all the groceries in no more than 4 or 5 days!

They eat like savages. I'm just so fed up because I can't do anything for myself because I have to worry about everyone else. My brothers get upset when I bring up the fact that they don't contribute to living here.

I'm so tired and I've been doing this for too long. All my brothers have had the luxury of moving out while I'm still stuck at home. I can't even think about moving out because I know my mom won't be in good hands.

I just wanted to vent.

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Vent Away!
by: Anonymous

Oh, that's a lot of pressure! It sounds like your brothers get angry because it's the truth!

If it weren't true that they are acting like users, it wouldn't make them angry when you bring it up.

Being gone for days after a paycheck for me meant i was using drugs (long, long ago and not anymore).

When I thought I . . . would. . lose my mind trying my best to keep mom in her own house I found a once a month support group. I was pretty amazed at how helpful seeing the group just once a month was.

I hope you find some peace (and more money) for yourself soon.

Let us know how you're doing. I'm sure, like me, a lot of us will be thinking of you now and sending you love and hugs and wondering how you are doing!
m-santa rosa ca

Kick them Out
by: Sandi

I will tell you without a doubt one thing I would be able to do if I had brothers and nephews leaching off me while I am caregiving for my Mother.

They would be out! That is it. All of them get out! Period, comma, !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There is no way I would put up with that. I can't make my family watch my Mom but I would be dammed if they lived here with their kids...they PAY OR GO! Get up the gonads to just tell them out! What are you losing?

Don't worry about your Mom and her being hurt. It can't be any worse if they are not there!!! At least you have less work and you will spend less money! Pay a sitter to watch your Mom. They are more dependable anyway!!

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