Talking to Elderly Parents is Fine...... it is my Sister!

by Joan
(Arizona)

Talking to my elderly parents is fine....we have communicated well for ages...it is my sister that is the issue, as she is the full spirit of a drama queen. There is always something about the care of our parents that sets her off. My husband says he believes that this is a cause of feeling guilty about not being around much (she lives about 45 minutes away). She is trying to raise her son and date around so she keeps busy so much so that she comes by for a visit only about once a month. But when shows up...WOW what a whirl wind of negative comments and "should have done this and that".

Our Dad was a teacher and Mom was around the home for most of our lives, until she got a part-time job to help them save for retirement. Dad seems to stay even keel when she is there and reassures my sister that everything is all right, but man, do I get an ear full when they are out of ear shot. Per my husband, I have been planning to quit taking the guff from her for sometime, and he is right I have been putting up with it, but no more.....

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Elderly Parents Sibling - Do not tolerate sisters ugly remarks
by: H Fuller

Elderly Parents Sibling Discussion

If she's not willing to give up her time - away from dating to help, she needs to shut up.

If she can do it all so much better, she should do it. There's nothing worse than a drop in authority. When you say nothing, you permit her remarks to degrade your work and sacrifice. Let her know. It's going to eat you alive.

Plan next time to hand it off to her. When she starts to verbally stab you, tell her, "Well glad it's so important to you. You can take care of it right now. I have plans this afternoon. Glad you're here to deal with it, I've done all I can. It's all yours." Pick up your Purse, Walk out, go to your car and drive away.

Yes, clue the folks in so they don't think you've abandoned them but ask them not to tell her. It's your little secret. Time for big mouth to back it up with action.

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