Suspicious and Spiteful Elderly Mother
My mother lives in an independent living facility and she is 92. Recently she was rushed to the emergency room and diagnosed with congestive heart failure. Three days later after aggressive oxygen therapy and fluid reduction she entered rehabilitation.
I have medical and financial power of attorney for her, and made all necessary decisions concerning the hospital, and the rehab facility. She was not in a condition to make these decisions herself.
After two days in a rehab which has the best reputation in our area, she began calling our home throughout the night saying she was being mis-treated by personnel, and drugged through her food. She was also hallucinating and seeing things in her room. She demanded that I take her out of rehab although she was in no condition to return to independent living. The hallucinations have occurred several times before her recent heart issue. She describes visions of little people with colorful clothes, as well as hundreds of large bugs in her apartment.
She accused me of working against her, in conjunction with the rehab facility and keeping her there against her will. She said she felt like she was in jail. No amount of reasoning by their staff would change her mind. I told her she needed to stay two more days until such time an assessment could be made by her doctor concerning her ability, both physically and mentally, to return to her apartment.
The next morning she told me that she was going to find an attorney, revoke my power of attorney, and remove me from her will. She has made outbursts and threats like this several times in the last 2-3 years. I pick up her groceries weekly, take her to all doctor appointments, and invite her to all holiday events. When I do visit her, she cusses at me, and feels a need to continually remind me how my father mis-treated her when he was alive. He passed away in 1997.
I am in a position where I just don't know what to do. I have done my very best to do what is in my mother's best interest. Dealing with her hatefulness and spite is very stressful and depressing for both myself and my wife. We are both in our early 60's