Suddenly Different

by Anonymous

I am a long time caregiver whose health has suffered because of the stress and hard work. While I was doing this, my siblings were going on trips, having their hobbies, and a very active social life.

Now, suddenly when one parent's health is going down, they are stepping in accusing me of trying to run the show (well SOMEBODY had to do it) and claiming that I am making my parent ill. I asked them to do one simple thing and they are griping about it.

Had to take one parent's license so they are now furious because it means that they are having to fill in and do the transportation sometimes. All the jealousy over the years is coming out.

They have turned into two thirteen year old kids wanting attention from my parents. Sister in law making snide remarks to my mother because she is jealous of her also!

I had thought that we could perhaps have a decent relationship, but with them acting like children it is impossible.

Any time that my parents do not want to do what they want, they claim that I am behind it 'influencing' them.

How many elderly people do you know that let other people dictate to them what activities they do - especially a stubborn one!

I am fed up and my parents say that it's time to have some boundaries. Only wish we had put them in place a lot sooner.

I feel like I have seen the true character of my siblings and it's not pretty. Hiding behind church work does not mean that you are a nice person.

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Caregiver Stress
by: Rick

I certainly feel for you. I have been the sole caregiver for my 82 year old Mother with Alzheimer's. I have 2 siblings and they continue to live their lives as they see fit.

Since I lost my job 7 years ago, I am expected to be the one who has to live with mother and tend to her every need. My mother is going through the poopy stage of Alzheimer's. I have to clean her bathroom almost every other day.

Getting on my hands and knees scrubbing poop from the floor and toilet. I hired a service to bathe her two times a week. The family thinks I am lazy because I will not bathe mother.

I am the one who launders all of her poop stained underwear and bed linens. I am about ready to give up.

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